Allow me To Reintroduce Myself

I'm sorry, who are you? Is a question I often find myself asking when I receive a call or text from a number I do not recognize. If someone would have asked me that question a year ago I have no idea what I would have said. I'm sure I would have been able to come up with something along the lines of my name is Alkeyvia Walker. I am the youngest of four children. I was born and raised in the County of Dade. I received my undergraduate education from Florida State University and my law degree from UF Levin College of Law. And I currently reside in the DMV. Sounds good right? I sure thought so. However, nothing has probably felt more real to me or shaken me as much as when God asked me that question. When asked me I had no response. He knows me better than anyone so how could I answer? What could I possibly say to Him that He does not already know? It was in that moment that I realized that He was not asking me for Him. He was asking me for me. This is the part that shook me because I had no idea who I was or what He thought a me.

I've come to know who God is to me but realized I had no idea who I was to Him. One of the enemy's greatest weapons is to keep us from knowing our true identity in Christ. He knows that who we believe we are determines what we do and that when we have no confidence in who we are we start to compare. You see if I believe the lie that I am guilty, I am going to hold on to the shame of the things that I have done and I start believing that I do not deserve to be loved. I then start accepting anything that a man gives me because I do not deserve to be loved in the first place. Which leads me to believe the lie that I am unworthy so instead of me being the only one in a man's life I settle for being #1 and I give myself to him sexually because I am not worth waiting for. I am not worthy of being a wife so I will just settle for being the mother of your children. This then leads me to feeling so unbeautiful because I gave him everything that I could possibly give. I gave him sex, I was there when he needed me emotionally and financially, I cooked for him, brought him clothes, accepted his children as my own, ignored the other girls, played #2 when I should have been the only one, I did school work and I loved him. So if he did not want me who else will? I can't even look in the mirror anymore I am so ugly. I don't deserve to be pursued so it's okay that we communicate primarily through texts and when he calls every now and then. I don't need to be taken out on a date we can just chill at your place or mine. I'm cool with having sleepover and going out the back door because you have to take the trash out. I've accepted all of this because I have let the enemy rob me of my identity.

It was in the not knowing that I cried out to God and asked Him who I was to Him and what He thinks of me. Thus started the greatest journey of my life, recognizing who I was to Christ. Probably the first thing we learn when we come to Christ is that He died for us. It took me a while to understand that not only did He die for me He died as me. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. - 2 Corinthians 5:21. So if I have been made right with God there is no need for me to carry around the guilt and shame of my past and not only do I deserve to be loved I am loved. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. - Romans 5:8. Now that I know that I am loved and I deserve love I am not going to accept anything less than a man that loves God and that will love me like Christ loves His church because that is the standard that Christ set.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. - Ephesians 5:25-30. Because I am no longer allowing myself to be misused I can look in the mirror and see what Christ sees, a beautiful women that is worth being pursued. You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. - Song of Solomon 4:7. Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull (which in Aramaic is called Golgotha). There they crucified him, and with him two others—one on each side and Jesus in the middle. - John 19:17-18. So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. - Luke 15:20. Now that I have gotten my swag back I know that not only do I deserve to be #1 I deserve to be the only one. I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. - Song of Solomon 7:10. And most importantly because I now know who Christ is and who I am in Him and that He lives on the inside of me I will no longer give myself sexually to another man until he chooses me to be his wife. But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. - 1 Peter 2:9. Run away from sexual sin. Every other sin people do is outside their bodies, but those who sin sexually sin against their own bodies. You should know that your body is a temple for the Holy Spirit who is in you. You have received the Holy Spirit from God. So you do not belong to yourselves, because you were bought by God for a price. So honor God with your bodies. - 1 Corinthians 6:18-20. 

Yes my name is Alkeyvia Walker and I am the youngest of four children. I was born and raised in the County of Dade. I received my undergraduate education from Florida State University and my law degree from UF Levin College of Law. And I currently reside in the DMV. But that is NOT who I am am. I am Alkeyvia Walker the daughter of a King who is not moved by the world for my God is with me and goes before me. I do not fear for I am His. And so we should not be like cringing, fearful slaves, but we should behave like God’s very own children, adopted into the bosom of his family, and calling to him, “Father, Father. - Romans 8:15. See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. - 1 John 3:1 . To be completely transparent there are some days that I do not "feel" like this at all. However, this IS WHO I AM and I refuse to let me temporary feelings rob me of my true identity.

Tune in next time to see what else lies Beyond The Pretty.

P.S. You do not want to miss my next post. Hint, it is on the world's favorite 3 letter word.