She Can Only Be Her

So recently (like Saturday) a friend asked me to be a part of a new segment on her blog. She wants to spotlight accomplished black women and style them  in 3 different looks while featuring their accomplishments. My first reaction was ummmm she (yes thanks to Tamar I now frequently refer to myself in the 3rd person) has not accomplished anything. She shares an apartment with a roommate, works at a job where she is overpaid and under worked, is not married and does not have one of the many babies she has always dreamed of having. It was as if I was saying out loud for the first time my many shortcomings and it stung more than I thought it would. But true to form, my friend snapped me back to reality and helped to point out how far I've actually come.

Without realizing it, I had started to compare myself to others and was measuring my accomplishments based on what others were doing. I even found myself questioning God and wondering why not me. Why don't I have the nice comfy firm job like most of my law school classmates? Why don't I have the husband and children like EVERYONE I see on Facebook? Why am I still renting instead of owning my own home? Just why God why?

The “plan” was to have my career, husband, house and 3 children by 29 and here I am 29 with none of these things. I rarely say these things out loud and I would never dare to say it to the Lord. I was crazy enough to think that Jesus didn't know what was in my heart when in actuality "for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." - Matthew 6:8. I was honestly thinking that because I am not in the place where I thought I would be that I am not worthy of being featured as an "accomplished" black women. However, I was forgetting one important thing "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him."

God in his infinite wisdom showed me that I have to stop comparing myself to other people and stop thinking because they "have it" so should I. We were not all meant to walk down the same path and we all have a different function in the Kingdom of God. For Romans 12:4-6 tells us "For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. ⁶ We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us." In all actuality since undergrad not much has worked out for me how and when I thought it would. The plan was to go to law school right after undergrad but right after turned into two years later but it did eventually happen. I was supposed to move to DC right after taking the bar but it did eventually happen seven months later. God reminded me Saturday that the things He has promised me may not have happened in my timing but they have happened in His perfect timing.

The most important thing I got out of my encounter with God Saturday is that I have to stop looking at myself through my own eyes and start seeing myself the way God sees me. You see God saw Abram as the father of many nations so He started calling Him Abraham, He saw Sarai as the mother of many nations from which kings of people will come and He started to call her Sarah. You see in their old age and before they even conceived a child together God saw into their future. Despite them laughing at Him He called them by what they were going to become and not how they saw themselves now. See we have to trust and believe that when the Lord says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" He means just that. God used my friend to show me that the things that I was looking at as shortcomings were merely things He saw as not yet accomplished.

I thank God that when I need Him most He is right there to remind me who He is and what He has been to me. You see Jesus reminded me through my friend that I have accomplished more than I ever could’ve dreamed of. I have come from being a girl in Liberty City (one of the cities featured on First 48) that was raised by a single mother of four, to a God fearing woman with the ability to practice law. I may not have a job in a firm "practicing" law daily but I am licensed in two jurisdictions and I have the ability to practice what I want, when I want and how I want. I may not have a ring on my finger but I have a man that loves me like Christ loves His church. I know (although I have to constantly remind myself) that the plans that the Lord has for me are greater than anything I can ever imagine.

In the words of one of the greatest to ever play the game...."For me, I can't worry about what everybody says about me. I'm Alkeyvia Walker, from Miami, Florida. From the inner city. I'm not even supposed to be here." That's enough. Every time I sign a document and I am able to put ESQ behind it, I'm blessed. So what everybody say about me outside of the courtroom don't matter. I ain't got no worries."

Until next time. Follow me to see what else lies Beyond The Pretty!

Shouts out to my girl miyathebee87 for giving me the reality check I needed. Love ya to pieces hun. Check out her blog www.miyathebeefashion.wordpress.com.

Justice For Trayvon - Truth Moment

Since the Trayvon Martin verdict came down social media has been outraged at our "failed justice system." I can admit that my first thought was "its times like this I do not like being associated with our justice system." But shortly thereafter someone reminded me that the reason I became apart of this system was to be an advocate that could relate to the struggles of my clients.

I have been struggling with whether I should comment on some of the posts that have flooded my timelines and after having a conversation with a friend I decided to write this post instead. I believe it is time for a truth moment.

I'm sure you all have seen the posts with the quote "A system cannot fail those it was never built to protect." While I agree that this statement is completely true, it baffles me that if we really believe this, then why do we continue to make decisions where we repeatedly subject ourselves to such a system? How do we do this, allow me to explain.....

1) Instead of education being the number one priority for our children we are more focused on them winning best dressed. It is sad that at an elementary school age children are more concerned about what shoes they have on their feet and what label they have written across their behinds than they are about their education. But we can't blame them because they are just going off the actions of their parents. We stand in line for hours to get them the new Js, but don't take the time out to go to PTA meetings or help with homework. I constantly see parents posting more pictures of their children's outfits than their success in the classroom. We constantly reward them for being mediocre in school instead of instilling the fear of God in them when they bring home bad grades. When I was growing up I was never rewarded for bringing home anything less than an A. Nowadays I see parents proud that their children don't have Ds and Fs. We know all the latest brands but are clueless about the college admissions process.

2) Instead of instilling in our little black boys to make their education their number one priority, we place athletics above everything. The last time I checked colleges and universities refer to their students with athletic abilities as STUDENT-Athletes. However, in our community we worry about the athletics first and the student later. Parents pack the stands on game day but once again are a no show at the school. Why is it that their is always a question as to whether the "star" athlete in the city will be academically eligible to participate in collegiate sports? Or why is that he has to take his standardized tests 3 or 4 times before he gets a score that qualifies him for admission into college. Or even better why is it that his white college teammate is starting college as a sophomore and he's taking remedial English and Math? I will tell you why, because practice comes before homework and paying the money for him to look good takes priority over paying for that study guide or tutor he needs to be successful in the classroom.

3) Instead of creating our own empire and investing our money in property ownership, we choose to invest our money in labels like Nike, True Religion, Michael Kors and Christian Louboutin to sustain their empires. I mention property ownership because it is property taxes that determine how much money is given to our schools. If you live an area that consists of only rentals, do the math and tell me how much money if any is going to the school? So how can we complain that our schools aren't getting adequate funding, when all the "funding" we get is being spent on labels. It's crazy how many Instagramers apartment's closests are filled with Jordans and Red Bottoms.

As a result of looks being placed above education, the mentality becomes I have to get these Js or this outfit by any means. It pains me to see the number of young people that are falling victim to this "unjust" system because they feel the need to have to steal or sale drugs just so they can "look good" going to school without as much as a thought as to how this decision will affect their future. Where I'm from "boosters" are being praised and the mentality has become why get a job and work for it when I can steal it for free?

Bottom line is we as a people have our PRIORITIES all mixed up and in order to prevent future Trayvon situations from happening we have to start making better decisions. This microwave mentality may work for our counterparts but the reality is we have to work twice as hard to get what we want. It is not right but life is not always about right and wrong and this is our reality. It is time out for pointing the finger at "the man" for the reason why we are where we are and it is time for taking a long look at the person in the mirror. We can start changing the world by starting in our households and families. Stop rewarding these children for being mediocre and start pushing them to be great so that they can be lawyers, judges, police and probation officers and jurors. We can't keep complaining about an unjust system if we are unwilling to do our part and put people in positions that can affect change.

DISCLAIMER
I am not saying for one second that it is Trayvon's or his parents' fault that he is not here with us today. I had the honor of meeting his parents and the pain that I saw on their faces will forever be etched in my mind and heart. Zimmerman was wrong and I am sure he will pay for what he has done.
What I am saying is that the jury consisted of 5 white women and 1 hispanic. The prosecution and defense attorneys as well as the judge were all white. Therefore, for this situation to not happen again more people that look like us and understand our struggle have to occupy those positions and that starts and ends with being educated.

Until next time....

Happy New Year!

Happy New New Year!!

I can not believe it is 2013 already, I am still processing everything that happened in 2012! However, I thought that I would start the new year of right with a quick post about the biggest lesson I learned in 2012.

Monday (NYE) I worked 10hrs (still making up time from my Christmas vacay)! I was dead tired when I got home but just as I was about to jump in the shower and hit the sack, all I could hear was Dru's voice in my ear yelling "Do not go into 2013 with a dirty house!" So despite my pure exhaustion I managed to gather some energy to clean up. As I was cleaning my room I began to reflect on 2012 and I realized that it had been exactly one year to the day that I made the decision to move to the DMV!

2011 was year filled with the highs of highs and lows of lows. I lost my aunt in March, graduated from law school in May, studied for the bar for 2.5 months during the summer, broke up with my boyfriend in August, passed the Florida Bar in September and went into a near state of depression in October. After I came down from the high of passing the bar, I realized that I was jobless and I had bills being thrown at me from every direction. To top it off I was back in Miami which was the last place on earth I wanted to be. It seemed like everyday the enemy was attacking me every way he knew how. I had no money, bill collectors calling me and doors for jobs were being slammed in my face all at once. It was baaaaaad!! There were days that I wondered why me and all I could do was cry. But God being God showed up on a day when I was feeling real bad. I was listening to the radio or something and the words of Kirk Franklin's song Smile gave me life, literally! "I know God is working so I smile. Even though I've been here for a while, I smile." I realized that despite what I was going through God was working behind the scenes and I had no reason to feel the way I was feeling. And to put a stamp on it to let me know that it was Him ministering to me, He led me to Romans 8:28 which says "ALL things work together for the the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose!" I knew I had to trust Him at His word and believe that there was a reason that I was broke and jobless and that it was somehow serving a purpose for my future!

Still, I needed to get away from everything that reminded of what I was going through so when my big sis called and asked me to come visit I hopped on the first plane to the DMV and I spent the last three weeks of 2011 there. During my visit God showed me that I did not completely trust Him like I thought I did. He brought back to my remembrance that He placed in my spirit the desire to move to the DMV a while ago. He reminded me that I came up with every excuse as to why I couldn't go: no job, no money, too cold, too far from family etc and that I completely dismissed Him. I thank God that even when we miss Him, He still finds us. I realized that I needed to do my part in this faith walk and completely trust God, so as I got on the plane back to Miami on NYE 2011 I decided that I wasn't going to let anything or anyone stop me from pursuing my dreams. I had heard so many times that God does not give us a vision without first making provision for us to see our vision through, so I decided that the first thing I was going to do in 2012 was move to the DMV. I did not know how I was going to do it, but I knew that if it was in God's will for my life Jesus would make it happen!

Despite being completely broke I started looking for apartments. Its crazy that the first person that I contacted was the apartment I moved into. I committed to moving into an apartment not knowing how I was going to qualify and pay for it with no income. I remember everyday just praying "Lord if its your will I know that you will work it out." And he did just that. He set it up so that I did not need any income to be added to the lease, all I needed to do was pass the background check and He reminded me that I had a storage unit full of furniture in Gainesville that I could sale and use the proceeds to pay my travel expenses and my first month's rent. Although I did not make the money that I wanted to from selling my things it was enough to pay for everything I needed. I arrived in the DMV February 7, 2012, had a job interview on February 9, 2012 and started working February 16, 2012. God is Amazing!!!!!!!!

The biggest lesson I learned in 2012 was to completely trust God. Life will seldom go the way we plan it but it will always go just as God planned. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." If we believe this, then we must trust that no matter how a situation looks and how the odds are stacked against us, ALL things will work together for our good if we love the Lord and are called according to his purpose!! I am sooo excited to see the plans that God has for me this year and I challenge you to completely trust Him in 2013!!

Tune in next time to see what else lies Beyond the Pretty!