In one of my first post I wrote about some of the insecurities I have dealt with over the years. One may look at me and think that because I seem to have it together on the outside, that my inside must be just as nice but that could not be far from the truth. In reality, for a long time I have been so messed up on the inside that it began to manifest itself on the outside. Allow me to explain.....
My first year of law school did not go as well as planned. In fact it was filled with a lot of hard ache and pain and constant, presitent insecure thoughts. I found myself questioning if law school was really the place for me because I felt so out of place. After my first year of law school I really began to wonder who I was, it was as if I woke up one day and looked in the mirror and I did not recognize the person looking back at me. I found myself questioning God's love for me and there were times when I wanted to pray but I just couldn't. I felt like I was not good enough to talk to God so instead of getting on my knees, I would just lay in my bed and cry. I did not realize it at the time but I had managed to allow satan to fill my head with lies about who I was. He tried to tell me that I was not good enough and even provided me with several examples of the mistakes that I had made to emphasize his point.
But Thank God that I have a praying mother!! I remember my mom calling me oneday asking me what was wrong with me. I sat there in complete silence because truth be told I had no answer because I really had no idea what was wrong with me. The next thing out her mouth went something like "don't you know that God loves you and He has great plans for your life." The tears just began to roll because I knew that God was using my mom to speak to me, telling me exactly what I needed to hear. I thank God for my mom being obedient to the Spirit and calling me that day because I could have fell into a deep depression if I had continued to allow satan to speak lies to me. During that conversation with my mom every lie that satan had spoken to me was extinguished and a huge dark cloud was lifted from over me. I believe I rededicated my life to Christ that day and I started going to church and reading and praying and just getting to know Jesus all over again.
The one thing that we cannot do is allow satan to tell us anything about ourselves. The bible tells us that satan is a liar and the father of lies, so we must remember that a liar can NEVER tell us the truth about ourselves because that is just not who he is. He is a liar by nature, therefore we have to know that every thought that he tries to place in our minds is a lie!! I dare you to declare this day that you will NEVER listen to another lie that satan tells you, I guarantee that you life will be changed like never before.
Tune in SOON to see what else lies Beyond the Pretty
P.S. I know this was a short post but it is laying the foundation for my next post!
