15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”
However, over time we have relinquished our God given power and have let men run wild and treat us any kind of way. As a result we constantly
complain that “there are no good men left in this world.” I know this because
for a long time I felt the same way until God recently opened my eyes and He even allowed me to experience a few good ones first hand. It is such a cliche to say this but at
some point we as women have to stop, take a step back, evaluate the
situation and see where the problem really lies. More often than not I think we will find that it is not them (men) that is the problem but the problem is with us (women). A man can only do to us what we allow him to do. Before you start going off on me please allow me to explain. Think of the
last guy that you dated or the guy that you are currently dating and ask
yourself these simple questions….
1.
Where did you meet
him?
If your answer is at a club or anything similar then that should give you
a clue as to why things did not / are not working. 9 times out of 10 a guy is
not going to the club to find the 1 but the one he can take home that night and
play with for the next couple of weeks. I said 9 times out of 10 because there
is always an exception to every rule. Our problem as women is that we always
seem to think that we are the exception instead of the rule. We really have to get out of that grey area mindset and start
seeing things black and white because it will be so more beneficial to us in the long run.
2. Did you meet him or did he meet you?
Today it seems like the roles of a man and a woman have been reversed. All to often it is the women doing the courting instead of the man and we wonder why this is so? It starts with the initial meeting, nowadays it is the woman approaching the man instead of the other way around. We know this is so out of order because the Bible in Proverbs 18:22 clearly states that "The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord. " It does not say anything about the wife finding the man. So ask yourself was it me that approached him or was it him that approached me. If it was you (the woman) that assumed the initial role of the man then do not be surprised if you are still playing that role. Do not get me wrong there is nothing wrong with you making a little eye contact to show the man that you are interested and available but he should be the one seeking you out (read the book of Ruth chapter 3, Naomi instructed Ruth to make herself known to Boaz, but it was Boaz that made the first move).
3.
Did you let your
expectations be known early on?
Too often as women we let the guy dictate the course of the
relationship and just go with his flow and there is nothing wrong with that as
long as you all are flowing in the same direction. Unfortunately this is
very seldom the case. If a relationship is what you are looking for you should let that be known sooner rather than later. One thing we have to learn as women
is that guys are one track minded and they usually go off whatever vibes we
give them. So if you are just giving him homegirl vibes then that is how he is
going to treat you, just like one of the boys. If you giving it up without a
commitment well expect him to have multiple girls calling his phone at all
hours of the night because in his mind he’s single and in reality he is.
However, if you let a guy know early on that what you desire is commitment he’s
either going to man up and give you what you want or he’s going to run like the
boy that he is, in which case you did not want/need that anyway. I think too
often as women we are afraid to say what we want out of fear that we are going
to run the guy away but to a guy that is looking for the same thing that you want,
to him you will be a breath of fresh air.
5. Is he letting the world know you are his woman?
Make no mistake about it, when a guy is really into the woman he is dating and he is thinking long term he will want the world to know that you are off limits. He will not care if you post pictures of the two of you on any of the social media platforms because he wants the world to know you are no longer on the market. A sub-question to this is where are the two of you spending most of your time? If the answer to that question is his place or yours then that is a good sign that he is not looking for anything long term with you because he does not even want anyone to see the two of you together. A guy that is thinking long term will care less who sees the two of you together. Also, there seems to be a trend where females are constantly referring to the guy in their life as dude or something similar but never by his name or an official title and I find this to be cause for alarm as well. If there is commitment then there is a title and you should be able to shout his name from the rooftop period. In the beginning its true you are just dating and getting to know each other but when a guy wants you off the market and all to himself a title will follow, after all all with the ultimate commitment don't you get the title of a wife. I think sometimes we try to sugar coat these things and we trick ourselves into saying we are doing this because we do not want people in our business (and we should not let the world know what we are doing in our relationships) but if we are truly honest with ourselves we want everyone to know _____ is my man and I am his woman.
4.
Do you know what
it is that you want?
Too many times we say that we want to be in a relationship
and we want to be married but do not realize the time and effort it takes to
make a relationship work. Everything is always peachy in the beginning but the
real test comes when the honeymoon phase is over. Being ready for a husband takes preparation that only God can provide. We have to be free of the hurt and pain of previous relationships gone wrong and that is something only Jesus can cleanse us from. Often this means giving up dating for a while and spending time with the Lord. Additionally, being a wife means more than cooking and cleaning for your husband. We have to take on the role of supporter, encourager, uplifer, lover, prayer, friend and so much more. It is often a wife's responsibility to push a husband into his God ordained destiny and that is not something that will be easy. So before you say that you want a husband ask yourself is it the wedding that you want or the marriage because there is a big difference between the two.
