It has been FOREVER since my last post. I apologize to those that were checking for new posts. I need for you all to start holding me accountable in the new year and start calling me out when you do not see a new post for a month or so. Even though I will be starting a new job soon I made a commitment to God that I would blog regularly and I would like to honor that commitment so please do not hesitate to send me an email, tweet or FB message to keep me on my toes. With that being said here goes an all new post!!!
Have you ever received an award or accomplished a goal and thought to yourself "I do not deserve this" or felt like you were just not worthy. It seems crazy but I recently felt that way after graduating from law school and passing the Florida Bar. I did not grow up in the best of situations and my life was a bit rough at times. As I was thinking back on my early childhood I just felt so unworthy of the things I had accomplished. Thank God I know a man name Jesus who deems things as worthy that others may view as worthless. Here's my story........
I did not grow up in the best of situations. My mom struggled to raise four children on her own. There were times we were on welfare, food stamps and other forms of public assistance. As Christmas is approaching I can remember times when there were very few (if any) presents under the tree. Because five people had to survive off of one income we often lived in crime infested neighborhoods. When I was about 7 or 8 years old I was outside playing with friends one day when I saw a man walk up in a long trench coat, pull out a gun and open fire on one of the apartments in my building while us kids were right there. Around that same time one of my childhood friends died from being shot in the head by a stray bullet on New Years Eve. I did not grow up in the best of situations.
As if that was not enough, I had to endure all of these struggles with no father in the picture. Although I knew my father he made a decision when I was about 6 or 7 to not be a part of my life and for a very long time I struggled with him not being there. I often wondered how a person that helped to create you could make a conscious decision to just walk away from you like you were nothing to never be heard from again. No phone calls or cards ever came on Christmas, Birthdays or other special events just complete silence. Like so many others I was a little girl left wondering why her father did not love her enough to want to be apart of her life. I did not grow up in the best of situations.
The one positive thing I had going for me during these tough times was a love for school and education. The difficulties I experienced at home rarely interfered with my school life. In elementary school I competed in math bowls and oratorical contests and was accepted in to the gifted program. My mom still has all the awards I received for math, English, handwriting etc. For middle school I was accepted into a Aerospace and Aviation Magnet program which lead to my acceptance into a Medical Magnet program for high school. When I entered high school although I had some distant relatives that went to college no one in my immediate family had ever gone and graduated. However, my 2nd oldest brother had his sights set on going to college and much like I did most of my life I was eager to follow in his footsteps.
I did not grow up in the best of situations
Despite the way that I grew I have been able to achieve things in life that few people have. I earned a Bachelor of Science Degree from Florida State University in 2006, despite the fact that a study done in 2007 revealed that African Americans made up only 13.1% of the population on college campuses nationwide and only 43% of that 13.1% actually received a college degree. Earlier this year I accomplished an even bigger milestone when I graduated from UF Levin College of Law and became a member of the Florida Bar and officially entered the Legal Profession where African Americans make up less than 4% of all lawyers.
I say these things not to gloat or brag, but to testify and show those that grew up (or that are growing up) in similar situations that I did that where you come from does not have to dictate your future. More often than not the trials and tribulations that we experience in life are not to break us down but to build us up. Jesus tells us this in Romans 5:2-5 "Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment.
I have been blessed in life not because I was born into a wealthy family (although I was spiritually) , but because my mom knew that she had to change her life in order to give her children a brighter future. You see when I was in the 4th grade she chose to giver her life to Christ. You see it is because of the decision that she made that helped to shape not only her future but mine as well. The day she met Jesus I met Him as well. Some people think that our futures are predestined and that is true to a certain extent, but God also gives us choices and it is up to choose the right ones. If you do not believe me pick up the Bible and read it. He told Noah to build an ark and Noah made the choice to adhere to the voice of God even though he had never seen rain before. Abraham choose to go to a foreign land that he knew nothing about. Jesus although he was sent into the world with the purpose of dying on the cross consciously chose to carry out his purpose although He really did not want to (remember His prayer at Gethsemane). These people are GREAT examples that although we may be dealt a bad hand, God still gives us a way to achieve greatness. The choice becomes ours when God speaks to us and we have to decide if we are going to heed to the voice of God or do our own thing. My advice would be to always follow God because the road will be less bumpy and the future a whole lot brighter. It is not always an easy thing to do and often time we slip and make bad decisions that may have long term affects, but thanks be to God that He gives us a thing called grace and mercy that even when we mess up we get another chance to get it right.
Tune in next time to see what lies Beyond The Pretty!
