She Can Only Be Her

So recently (like Saturday) a friend asked me to be a part of a new segment on her blog. She wants to spotlight accomplished black women and style them  in 3 different looks while featuring their accomplishments. My first reaction was ummmm she (yes thanks to Tamar I now frequently refer to myself in the 3rd person) has not accomplished anything. She shares an apartment with a roommate, works at a job where she is overpaid and under worked, is not married and does not have one of the many babies she has always dreamed of having. It was as if I was saying out loud for the first time my many shortcomings and it stung more than I thought it would. But true to form, my friend snapped me back to reality and helped to point out how far I've actually come.

Without realizing it, I had started to compare myself to others and was measuring my accomplishments based on what others were doing. I even found myself questioning God and wondering why not me. Why don't I have the nice comfy firm job like most of my law school classmates? Why don't I have the husband and children like EVERYONE I see on Facebook? Why am I still renting instead of owning my own home? Just why God why?

The “plan” was to have my career, husband, house and 3 children by 29 and here I am 29 with none of these things. I rarely say these things out loud and I would never dare to say it to the Lord. I was crazy enough to think that Jesus didn't know what was in my heart when in actuality "for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." - Matthew 6:8. I was honestly thinking that because I am not in the place where I thought I would be that I am not worthy of being featured as an "accomplished" black women. However, I was forgetting one important thing "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him."

God in his infinite wisdom showed me that I have to stop comparing myself to other people and stop thinking because they "have it" so should I. We were not all meant to walk down the same path and we all have a different function in the Kingdom of God. For Romans 12:4-6 tells us "For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. ⁶ We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us." In all actuality since undergrad not much has worked out for me how and when I thought it would. The plan was to go to law school right after undergrad but right after turned into two years later but it did eventually happen. I was supposed to move to DC right after taking the bar but it did eventually happen seven months later. God reminded me Saturday that the things He has promised me may not have happened in my timing but they have happened in His perfect timing.

The most important thing I got out of my encounter with God Saturday is that I have to stop looking at myself through my own eyes and start seeing myself the way God sees me. You see God saw Abram as the father of many nations so He started calling Him Abraham, He saw Sarai as the mother of many nations from which kings of people will come and He started to call her Sarah. You see in their old age and before they even conceived a child together God saw into their future. Despite them laughing at Him He called them by what they were going to become and not how they saw themselves now. See we have to trust and believe that when the Lord says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" He means just that. God used my friend to show me that the things that I was looking at as shortcomings were merely things He saw as not yet accomplished.

I thank God that when I need Him most He is right there to remind me who He is and what He has been to me. You see Jesus reminded me through my friend that I have accomplished more than I ever could’ve dreamed of. I have come from being a girl in Liberty City (one of the cities featured on First 48) that was raised by a single mother of four, to a God fearing woman with the ability to practice law. I may not have a job in a firm "practicing" law daily but I am licensed in two jurisdictions and I have the ability to practice what I want, when I want and how I want. I may not have a ring on my finger but I have a man that loves me like Christ loves His church. I know (although I have to constantly remind myself) that the plans that the Lord has for me are greater than anything I can ever imagine.

In the words of one of the greatest to ever play the game...."For me, I can't worry about what everybody says about me. I'm Alkeyvia Walker, from Miami, Florida. From the inner city. I'm not even supposed to be here." That's enough. Every time I sign a document and I am able to put ESQ behind it, I'm blessed. So what everybody say about me outside of the courtroom don't matter. I ain't got no worries."

Until next time. Follow me to see what else lies Beyond The Pretty!

Shouts out to my girl miyathebee87 for giving me the reality check I needed. Love ya to pieces hun. Check out her blog www.miyathebeefashion.wordpress.com.

Justice For Trayvon - Truth Moment

Since the Trayvon Martin verdict came down social media has been outraged at our "failed justice system." I can admit that my first thought was "its times like this I do not like being associated with our justice system." But shortly thereafter someone reminded me that the reason I became apart of this system was to be an advocate that could relate to the struggles of my clients.

I have been struggling with whether I should comment on some of the posts that have flooded my timelines and after having a conversation with a friend I decided to write this post instead. I believe it is time for a truth moment.

I'm sure you all have seen the posts with the quote "A system cannot fail those it was never built to protect." While I agree that this statement is completely true, it baffles me that if we really believe this, then why do we continue to make decisions where we repeatedly subject ourselves to such a system? How do we do this, allow me to explain.....

1) Instead of education being the number one priority for our children we are more focused on them winning best dressed. It is sad that at an elementary school age children are more concerned about what shoes they have on their feet and what label they have written across their behinds than they are about their education. But we can't blame them because they are just going off the actions of their parents. We stand in line for hours to get them the new Js, but don't take the time out to go to PTA meetings or help with homework. I constantly see parents posting more pictures of their children's outfits than their success in the classroom. We constantly reward them for being mediocre in school instead of instilling the fear of God in them when they bring home bad grades. When I was growing up I was never rewarded for bringing home anything less than an A. Nowadays I see parents proud that their children don't have Ds and Fs. We know all the latest brands but are clueless about the college admissions process.

2) Instead of instilling in our little black boys to make their education their number one priority, we place athletics above everything. The last time I checked colleges and universities refer to their students with athletic abilities as STUDENT-Athletes. However, in our community we worry about the athletics first and the student later. Parents pack the stands on game day but once again are a no show at the school. Why is it that their is always a question as to whether the "star" athlete in the city will be academically eligible to participate in collegiate sports? Or why is that he has to take his standardized tests 3 or 4 times before he gets a score that qualifies him for admission into college. Or even better why is it that his white college teammate is starting college as a sophomore and he's taking remedial English and Math? I will tell you why, because practice comes before homework and paying the money for him to look good takes priority over paying for that study guide or tutor he needs to be successful in the classroom.

3) Instead of creating our own empire and investing our money in property ownership, we choose to invest our money in labels like Nike, True Religion, Michael Kors and Christian Louboutin to sustain their empires. I mention property ownership because it is property taxes that determine how much money is given to our schools. If you live an area that consists of only rentals, do the math and tell me how much money if any is going to the school? So how can we complain that our schools aren't getting adequate funding, when all the "funding" we get is being spent on labels. It's crazy how many Instagramers apartment's closests are filled with Jordans and Red Bottoms.

As a result of looks being placed above education, the mentality becomes I have to get these Js or this outfit by any means. It pains me to see the number of young people that are falling victim to this "unjust" system because they feel the need to have to steal or sale drugs just so they can "look good" going to school without as much as a thought as to how this decision will affect their future. Where I'm from "boosters" are being praised and the mentality has become why get a job and work for it when I can steal it for free?

Bottom line is we as a people have our PRIORITIES all mixed up and in order to prevent future Trayvon situations from happening we have to start making better decisions. This microwave mentality may work for our counterparts but the reality is we have to work twice as hard to get what we want. It is not right but life is not always about right and wrong and this is our reality. It is time out for pointing the finger at "the man" for the reason why we are where we are and it is time for taking a long look at the person in the mirror. We can start changing the world by starting in our households and families. Stop rewarding these children for being mediocre and start pushing them to be great so that they can be lawyers, judges, police and probation officers and jurors. We can't keep complaining about an unjust system if we are unwilling to do our part and put people in positions that can affect change.

DISCLAIMER
I am not saying for one second that it is Trayvon's or his parents' fault that he is not here with us today. I had the honor of meeting his parents and the pain that I saw on their faces will forever be etched in my mind and heart. Zimmerman was wrong and I am sure he will pay for what he has done.
What I am saying is that the jury consisted of 5 white women and 1 hispanic. The prosecution and defense attorneys as well as the judge were all white. Therefore, for this situation to not happen again more people that look like us and understand our struggle have to occupy those positions and that starts and ends with being educated.

Until next time....

Happy New Year!

Happy New New Year!!

I can not believe it is 2013 already, I am still processing everything that happened in 2012! However, I thought that I would start the new year of right with a quick post about the biggest lesson I learned in 2012.

Monday (NYE) I worked 10hrs (still making up time from my Christmas vacay)! I was dead tired when I got home but just as I was about to jump in the shower and hit the sack, all I could hear was Dru's voice in my ear yelling "Do not go into 2013 with a dirty house!" So despite my pure exhaustion I managed to gather some energy to clean up. As I was cleaning my room I began to reflect on 2012 and I realized that it had been exactly one year to the day that I made the decision to move to the DMV!

2011 was year filled with the highs of highs and lows of lows. I lost my aunt in March, graduated from law school in May, studied for the bar for 2.5 months during the summer, broke up with my boyfriend in August, passed the Florida Bar in September and went into a near state of depression in October. After I came down from the high of passing the bar, I realized that I was jobless and I had bills being thrown at me from every direction. To top it off I was back in Miami which was the last place on earth I wanted to be. It seemed like everyday the enemy was attacking me every way he knew how. I had no money, bill collectors calling me and doors for jobs were being slammed in my face all at once. It was baaaaaad!! There were days that I wondered why me and all I could do was cry. But God being God showed up on a day when I was feeling real bad. I was listening to the radio or something and the words of Kirk Franklin's song Smile gave me life, literally! "I know God is working so I smile. Even though I've been here for a while, I smile." I realized that despite what I was going through God was working behind the scenes and I had no reason to feel the way I was feeling. And to put a stamp on it to let me know that it was Him ministering to me, He led me to Romans 8:28 which says "ALL things work together for the the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose!" I knew I had to trust Him at His word and believe that there was a reason that I was broke and jobless and that it was somehow serving a purpose for my future!

Still, I needed to get away from everything that reminded of what I was going through so when my big sis called and asked me to come visit I hopped on the first plane to the DMV and I spent the last three weeks of 2011 there. During my visit God showed me that I did not completely trust Him like I thought I did. He brought back to my remembrance that He placed in my spirit the desire to move to the DMV a while ago. He reminded me that I came up with every excuse as to why I couldn't go: no job, no money, too cold, too far from family etc and that I completely dismissed Him. I thank God that even when we miss Him, He still finds us. I realized that I needed to do my part in this faith walk and completely trust God, so as I got on the plane back to Miami on NYE 2011 I decided that I wasn't going to let anything or anyone stop me from pursuing my dreams. I had heard so many times that God does not give us a vision without first making provision for us to see our vision through, so I decided that the first thing I was going to do in 2012 was move to the DMV. I did not know how I was going to do it, but I knew that if it was in God's will for my life Jesus would make it happen!

Despite being completely broke I started looking for apartments. Its crazy that the first person that I contacted was the apartment I moved into. I committed to moving into an apartment not knowing how I was going to qualify and pay for it with no income. I remember everyday just praying "Lord if its your will I know that you will work it out." And he did just that. He set it up so that I did not need any income to be added to the lease, all I needed to do was pass the background check and He reminded me that I had a storage unit full of furniture in Gainesville that I could sale and use the proceeds to pay my travel expenses and my first month's rent. Although I did not make the money that I wanted to from selling my things it was enough to pay for everything I needed. I arrived in the DMV February 7, 2012, had a job interview on February 9, 2012 and started working February 16, 2012. God is Amazing!!!!!!!!

The biggest lesson I learned in 2012 was to completely trust God. Life will seldom go the way we plan it but it will always go just as God planned. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." If we believe this, then we must trust that no matter how a situation looks and how the odds are stacked against us, ALL things will work together for our good if we love the Lord and are called according to his purpose!! I am sooo excited to see the plans that God has for me this year and I challenge you to completely trust Him in 2013!!

Tune in next time to see what else lies Beyond the Pretty!

Letter To My Younger Self!

Dearest Alkeyvia,

Everything that you are and everything that you will become is because of your relationship with Jesus. It is very important that you know that having a relationship with Him is the most important relationship that you will ever have. Although, your mother and brothers will offer you advice, He alone is the ONLY one that can direct you down the right path. Hold on to that relationship no matter what because He is all you will ever need. He will be your provider in times of lack, your comforter in times of sorrow, your strength in times of weakness, your peace in times of trouble, your healer in times of sickness and your biggest supporter in times of triumph. He loves you like no man ever will.

You may look around right now and all you see is poverty, drugs and pain but if you will keep pressing forward and trusting God I promise you that Jesus will take you to places that you never dreamed of. Remember you can do ALL things through Christ!

You WILL make mistakes in life and do things that you aren't exactly proud of, but do not allow those things to have you living in fear. Know that God says in his word that NOTHING that we could possibly do will ever separate us from his love. Stand on Romans 8 verses 38-39  ^"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." 

Do not be so hard on yourself! Forgive yourself for the mistakes you will make and for the things you will do that you aren't too proud of. Learn from them and move forward. Do not beat yourself up or dwell on the past, it will not define you or the woman that you will become. Know that you serve a FORGIVING not a condemning God. Jesus says in His word that we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and that He will forgive our wickedness and remember our sins no more. If God can forgive you, then you MUST forgive yourself and leave your past behind you.

Love who you see when you look in the mirror. Do not ever be afraid or ashamed of who you are. Yes you will make mistakes but you are a child of the most high and You ARE a Proverbs 31 woman and don't you ever forget that. See yourself as God sees you; as chosen, set apart, approved, and accepted into heaven. Knowing who you are and setting standards for yourself will be an integral part of the woman you will become.   

Despite your bothers efforts to protect you, your heart will be broken. But at the end of every relationship rejoice in knowing that you dodged a bullet! Know that he was not God's will for your life and move on! The man that God has for you will love you like Jesus loves His church. He will be willing to lay down his life so that you can live an abundant one.

Life will not always go as planned hun! You won't be married and done having kids at 29, you won't go to law school when you want and you won't get a job right out of law school. There will be too many times when you won't get what YOU want, But all that is OK!! You will realize that what you need will be far better than what you want. Remember that the plan that God has for you is far better than any plan you can ever have for yourself.

If you remember nothing else I have said, remember to be patient, to forgive yourself when you make mistakes and most importantly, TRUST God!

Love,

Your 28 year old self!

The devil is a Liar!!

In one of my first post I wrote about some of the insecurities I have dealt with over the years. One may look at me and think that because I seem to have it together on the outside, that my inside must be just as nice but that could not be far from the truth. In reality, for a long time I have been so messed up on the inside that it began to manifest itself on the outside. Allow me to explain.....

My first year of law school did not go as well as planned. In fact it was filled with a lot of hard ache and pain and constant, presitent insecure thoughts. I found myself questioning if law school was really the place for me because I felt so out of place. After my first year of law school I really began to wonder who I was, it was as if I woke up one day and looked in the mirror and I did not recognize the person looking back at me. I found myself questioning God's love for me and there were times when I wanted to pray but I just couldn't. I felt like I was not good enough to talk to God so instead of getting on my knees, I would just lay in my bed and cry. I did not realize it at the time but I had managed to allow satan to fill my head with lies about who I was. He tried to tell me that I was not good enough and even provided me with several examples of the mistakes that I had made to emphasize his point.

But Thank God that I have a praying mother!! I remember my mom calling me oneday asking me what was wrong with me. I sat there in complete silence because truth be told I had no answer because I really had no idea what was wrong with me. The next thing out her mouth went something like "don't you know that God loves you and He has great plans for your life." The tears just began to roll because I knew that God was using my mom to speak to me, telling me exactly what I needed to hear. I thank God for my mom being obedient to the Spirit and calling me that day because I could have fell into a deep depression if I had continued to allow satan to speak lies to me. During that conversation with my mom every lie that satan had spoken to me was extinguished and a huge dark cloud was lifted from over me. I believe I rededicated my life to Christ that day and I started going to church and reading and praying and just getting to know Jesus all over again.

The one thing that we cannot do is allow satan to tell us anything about ourselves. The bible tells us that satan is a liar and the father of lies, so we must remember that a liar can NEVER tell us the truth about ourselves because that is just not who he is. He is a liar by nature, therefore we have to know that every thought that he tries to place in our minds is a lie!! I dare you to declare this day that you will NEVER listen to another lie that satan tells you, I guarantee that you life will be changed like never before.

Tune in SOON to see what else lies Beyond the Pretty

P.S. I know this was a short post but it is laying the foundation for my next post!

Why Won't He Act Right??

Recently I had 2 separate conversations about the same subject with two different people which sparked me to write this post. I am constantly going through my Twitter and Facebook feeds and I have to admit that I get a bit annoyed at some of the posts I read from my fellow members of the female persuasion. I am constantly reading their frustrations with the guys they are dating and I have to just shake my head sometimes because women tend to forget the power that we hold. Contrary to what a man wants to admit, it is the woman that holds most of the power in the relationship, but our problem is women are so quick to give up that power that we never realize that we had any in the first place. Don't believe me, lets go to the book of Genesis to the story of the first man and woman God created. Chapter 2 tells the story of God creating man but starting with verse 15 is where we want to focus for the purpose of proving my point with an emphasis on verses 16 and 17...

¹⁵ The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. ¹⁶ And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; ¹⁷ but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”   

God gave strict instructions to Adam (the man) to not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, Eve was not even thought of until after God gave Adam this commandment. However, Adam being the man that he was disobeyed a direct order from God and ate the fruit because Eve (the woman) told him to. Now tell me that is not power!!   

However, over time we have relinquished our God given power and have let men run wild and treat us any kind of way. As a result we constantly complain that “there are no good men left in this world.” I know this because for a long time I felt the same way until God  recently opened my eyes and He even allowed me to experience a few good ones first hand. It is such a cliche to say this but at some point we as women have to stop, take a step back, evaluate the situation and see where the problem really lies. More often than not I think we will find that it is not them (men) that is the problem but the problem is with us (women). A man can only do to us what we allow him to do. Before you start going off on me please allow me to explain. Think of the last guy that you dated or the guy that you are currently dating and ask yourself these simple questions…. 

1.      Where did you meet him?

      

      If your answer is at a club or anything similar then that should give you a clue as to why things did not / are not working. 9 times out of 10 a guy is not going to the club to find the 1 but the one he can take home that night and play with for the next couple of weeks. I said 9 times out of 10 because there is always an exception to every rule. Our problem as women is that we always seem to think that we are the exception instead of the rule. We really have to get out of that grey area mindset and start seeing things black and white because it will be so more beneficial to us in the long run.

2.    Did you meet him or did he meet you?

       

      Today it seems like the roles of a man and a woman have been reversed. All to often it is the women doing the courting instead of the man and we wonder why this is so? It starts with the initial meeting, nowadays it is the woman approaching the man instead of the other way around. We know this is so out of order because the Bible in Proverbs 18:22 clearly states that "The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord. " It does not say anything about the wife finding the man. So ask yourself was it me that approached him or was it him that approached me. If it was you (the woman) that assumed the initial role of the man then do not be surprised if you are still playing that role. Do not get me wrong there is nothing wrong with you making a little eye contact to show the man that you are interested and available but he should be the one seeking you out (read the book of Ruth chapter 3, Naomi instructed Ruth to make herself known to Boaz, but it was Boaz that made the first move).   

3.      Did you let your expectations be known early on?

      

      Too often as women we let the guy dictate the course of the relationship and just go with his flow and there is nothing wrong with that as long as you all are flowing in the same direction. Unfortunately this is very seldom the case. If a relationship is what you are looking for you should let that be known sooner rather than later. One thing we have to learn as women is that guys are one track minded and they usually go off whatever vibes we give them. So if you are just giving him homegirl vibes then that is how he is going to treat you, just like one of the boys. If you giving it up without a commitment well expect him to have multiple girls calling his phone at all hours of the night because in his mind he’s single and in reality he is. However, if you let a guy know early on that what you desire is commitment he’s either going to man up and give you what you want or he’s going to run like the boy that he is, in which case you did not want/need that anyway. I think too often as women we are afraid to say what we want out of fear that we are going to run the guy away but to a guy that is looking for the same thing that you want, to him you will be a breath of fresh air.

5.   Is he letting the world know you are his woman?

      Make no mistake about it, when a guy is really into the woman he is dating and he is thinking long term he will want the world to know that you are off limits. He will not care if you post pictures of the two of you on any of the social media platforms because he wants the world to know you are no longer on the market. A sub-question to this is where are the two of you spending most of your time? If the answer to that question is his place or yours then that is a good sign that he is not looking for anything long term with you because he does not even want anyone to see the two of you together. A guy that is thinking long term will care less who sees the two of you together. Also, there seems to be a trend where females are constantly referring to the guy in their life as dude or something similar but never by his name or an official title and I find this to be cause for alarm as well. If there is commitment then there is a title and you should be able to shout his name from the rooftop period. In the beginning its true you are just dating and getting to know each other but when a guy wants you off the market and all to himself a title will follow, after all all with the ultimate commitment don't you get the title of a wife. I think sometimes we try to sugar coat these things and we trick ourselves into saying we are doing this because we do not want people in our business (and we should not let the world know what we are doing in our relationships) but if we are truly honest with ourselves we want everyone to know _____ is my man and I am his woman.       

4.      Do you know what it is that you want?

      Too many times we say that we want to be in a relationship and we want to be married but do not realize the time and effort it takes to make a relationship work. Everything is always peachy in the beginning but the real test comes when the honeymoon phase is over. Being ready for a husband takes preparation that only God can provide. We have to be free of the hurt and pain of previous relationships gone wrong and that is something only Jesus can cleanse us from. Often this means giving up dating for a while and spending time with the Lord. Additionally, being a wife means more than cooking and cleaning for your husband. We have to take on the role of supporter, encourager, uplifer, lover, prayer, friend and so much more. It is often a wife's responsibility to push a husband into his God ordained destiny and that is not something that will be easy. So before you say that you want a husband ask yourself is it the wedding that you want or the marriage because there is a big difference between the two.

Therfore, I urge you all before you go writing every man off as being no good to take a second or two or three or an hour, couple of days or months and evaluate whatever situation it is that you are in and really dig deep and see if there are some things in you that need to be changed. I will be the first to tell you that self evaluation is tough and very unpleasant but it is needed if you truly want the man that God has for you. I've been through this difficult process and I am still going through it at this very moment, but trust and believe that I am so much more in love with the me that I am today than the me I was 3yrs ago when I started this process. I have no doubt that the man God has for me is just around the corner so it no longer bothers me (I admit it does sting a little bit, this last one sure did lol) when I meet a guy and it does not work out because I know the things I have done to prepare for my husband and I simply write it off as he was just not the one. Women hold so much power and we can save ourselves so much heartache if we simply let go of the fear of being alone and rejected and start letting the members of the opposite sex that we allow in our lives know up front exactly what our expectations are. Remember a guy can only do to you what you allow him to do.

Tune in next time to see what else lies Beyond the Pretty!

Honor Thy Father And Mother.

In honor of my beautiful mother I have come out of hiding lol to dedicate this post to her. I love you mommy.

The bible tells us in Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. The bible further explains in Ephesians 6:2 to "Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise - that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth." Today is a day that we take time out to honor the women in our lives that have taken care of us and nurtured us and loved us.

However, I think that the world we live in has distorted our thinking and beliefs on what the above scriptures really mean. Sadly today I see a lot of us not giving our parents or elders for that matter the honor that they truly deserve. We say we love them but we are quick to flat out disrespect them when they do something that we don't like or when we ask them for something and they tell us no. Little do we know that we are actually hurting ourselves and not them with our dishonor. Lets take a look at the above scriptures again and you will see what I am talking about.

Exodus chapter 20 starts by God speaking the 10 commandments to Moses. Verse 12 lays out the 5th of the 10 commandments. I'm sure that all of us know that the bible tells us to honor our mother and father but often times we forget that this is actually one of the 10 commandments. Yep thats right!! It is right above "you shall not murder" and right below "Remember the Sabbath by keeping it holy." Remeber from Sunday achools that the 10 commandments were given in order of their importance. Therefore recognize that to God dishonoring our parents is greater than committing murder.

If we cross reference Exodus 20:12 we will be led to Ephesians 6. As I stated above the 5th commandment is the 1st commandment that comes with a promise - "that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you" or as it is stated in Ephesians 6 "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth." We learned opposites in elementary school and I think that that is the best way for us to look at this promise. If we honor our parents we will have a long life and things will be well with us while we live here on earth but if we dishonor our parents our days on earth will be shortened and filled with a lot of bad days.

A further look into the scripture will also reveal that no where does it say that we should give honor only when our parents deserve it and withhold it when they do not. All God said was to honor your father and mother period. Honor is one of those things that God believes should be freely given no matter what a person does or says to us. If you do not believe me go to I Samuel 24 with me......

After Saul returned from pursuing the Philistines, he was told, “David is in the Desert of En Gedi. ” 2 So Saul took three thousand able young men from all Israel and set out to look for David and his men near the Crags of the Wild Goats. 3 He came to the sheep pens along the way; a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. David and his men were far back in the cave. 4 The men said, “This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.” Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe.

5 Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. 6 He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord.” 7 With these words David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way. 8 Then David went out of the cave and called out to Saul, “My lord the king!” When Saul looked behind him, David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground.

Let me give you a little background before we talk about the scriptures above. Isreal wanted a king like some of the other great nations so the Lord had Samuel to annoint Saul as the king of Israel but during his reign he did some things that were not pleasing in the Lord's sight. God therefore rejected Saul as king and subsequently commanded Samuel to anoint David as king to take Saul's place. At the moment David was annointed the Spirit of the Lord was with him and departed from Saul to the point where Saul was tormented by demons. This made Saul very angry and he developed a hatred for David and he tried several times to kill him, which leads us to the scriptures above.

Although Saul had just come back from pursuing the Philistines, he still had enough energy left to pursue David because he wanted him dead. Instead the Lord delivered Saul into David's hand to do with him as he pleased. It is clear from the scripture that David could have killed Saul if he wanted to as evidence by the fact he was able to cut off a corner of Saul's robe without being noticed. Although David had the opportunity to kill the man that had been pursuing him for years to kill him, David spared his life  because he still honored Saul as king so much that he felt guilty for cutting a piece of Saul's robe and despite the way Saul had treated him, David still saw him as "my master, the Lord’s anointed,  My lord the king." David honored him to the point that even though Saul wanted his life "David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground" before Saul. Many of us would have taken this opportunity to get rid of Saul and would not have given it a second thought. But we learn from David that no matter what our parents do to us or have done to us our duty as children is to honor them with the respect that they deserve inspite of their short comings.
So what happens when we dishonor our parents??? I'm glad you asked! Lets go to Matthew 13:53-58...

53 When Jesus had finished these parables, he moved on from there. 54 Coming to his hometown, he began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. “Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?” they asked. 55 “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Isn’t his mother’s name Mary, and aren’t his brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas? 56 Aren’t all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things?” 57 And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town and in his own home.” 58 And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

You see the people who grew up with Jesus did not honor him as the Son of God. Instead they saw him as the carpenter’s son, Mary's son, and the brother of James, Joseph, Simon and Judas. Jesus response was that "a prophet is not without honor except in his own town and in his own home." And because of their dishonor Jesus did not perform many miracles there. This is the same thing that happens to us when we dishonor our parents, our days are shortened and our time spent on earth is filled with bad days. I learned in church that honor produces a culture of miraculous blessings and we see from the scripture above that dishonor produces a culture void of miraculous blessing.

Therfore, my prayer today for myself especially and for those reading this is "Lord do not let the dishonor in my heart hinder you Jesus from doing the miraculous things in my life."

Until next time.....