So in my last post I discussed that ill feeling of not being married that tends to creep up in me every now and than. For a long time I had this belief that I was missing something and that when my husband finally comes everything will magically be all right. For years I went to scripture trying to figure out what the Bible said about marriage and dating and finding "the one". But for the scriptures I found on marriage I was coming up empty and I thought that I was not hearing from God at all. I tried looking at some of the great relationships in the Bible but nothing seemed to help me. This desire to be married and sense of emptiness began to really eat me up inside. I just did not understand why God was not giving me guidance in this area of relationships.
During this time of me searching for answers, I started to feel really convicted (far from condemned) in this area. I felt that I had made those things idols because I was putting them before God. All I could hear was a cry from God telling me to seek Him FIRST and that my wholeness was found in Him and that void I was feeling could only be filled by Him. I was experiencing God being jealous for me and it was like nothing I had ever felt before. It was actually the exact feeling that I was seeking from a man. I knew that God loved me more than any man ever could and from that day forth I began to focus on my relationship with God making it my #1 priority. I eliminated things that I felt like was hindering my walk and I stopped praying for God to send my husband. I wanted God to know that I was serious and that He was more than enough for me and that if He never gave me those things I would still love Him with my whole heart.
I began to seek out groups within my church that would help grow my relationship with God. For the past year or so all I've been doing is focusing on my relationship with God. In doing so God really began to speak to me and show me that I needed to work on becoming a better me. He started to show me some things about my ways were not His ways and were not lining up with His word. So my prayer has been for God to just show me His heart so that I can be more like Him. To love like He loves, to serve like He serves, give like He gives and show compassion like he does. I just really want to be more like Christ more than anything else in this world.
You see I have learned that God really is a jealous God. Meaning that He loves us so much that He does not want us to give away what rightly belongs to Him. He desires our honor, worship and praise and when we give that away to things and people we hurt Him. We must at all times seek Him first. It is when we show Him that He is first in our lives that He will began to give us those desires that He placed in us.
To Be Continued.............
Friday, October 10, 2014
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Perfy 30
Not long ago I celebrated my 30th Birthday. But for some of you seeing it on your Facebook calendar you would have never known. I did not post any pictures and I barely responded to Birthday wishes. You see I wanted my 30th Birthday celebration to be PERFECT and when things did not go the way I wanted them to I went into hiding hoping that that weekend could be erased and perhaps I could get a do over. I was just really bitter about my birthday and I did not want to talk to or see anybody.
You see.....I thought that I had gotten past the fact that I had not accomplished some of the things I wanted to accomplish by 30. I just knew that I was no longer bitter about not being married and having a family, but God showed me that that was the very reason why I wanted things to be so PERFECT. It was because I was internally feeling empty in that area and I just wanted one thing in my life to go as I planned. I just finally wanted to get something that I wanted when I wanted it. I know as someone that is wholeheartedly pursuing a relationship with Jesus I really should not feel that way, but quite frankly a lot of times I do. I know 100% that God's timing is PERFECT and that He has some amazing things in store for me but it is HARD walking that out daily especially when every corner you turn you see people getting the very things that you are praying for.
To be perfectly honest some days I refrain from going on social media because I frankly just can not handle seeing someone else get engaged or having a baby or getting a new job. I find myself being unhappy for them when I know that that is not God's heart at all. Those are the days I really have to get into His word and remind myself of who He is and the promises He has made to me. You see I'm learning that all of this starts in my mind so anytime those thoughts creep in I have to recognize that they aren't from God because He says that He knows the plans that He has for me to give me a future and a hope. So the minute I start thinking that these things are not going to happen for me and being bitter about it I have to cast down the negative thought because it will have me like I was after my birthday. Depressed, Unhappy and Bitter.
As I look back I kick myself because I knew better and if I would have cast those thoughts down my birthday really would have been everything that I wanted it to be. I really should have said so what the guy that was in my life at the time and others did not show up. The people that I love most in this world did. My mom told me that the people that God wanted there would be there and they were and that is really all that mattered. And I truly did have a great time. I got to spend some QT with my ladies that I do not get to see that often and we discovered that if our careers were to go south we could definitely be the next YouTube sensation. And I marked a couple things off my bucket list. I really wish that I could get a do over on this one.
I'm growing and learning day by day y'all. That is really the real of it. I have great days when I am able to cast down thoughts that do not line up with His word and I have days that I struggle. Those days I struggle bring me closer to Him because those are the days I really have to cast my cares upon Him and know that He cares for me and understands my struggle like no one else can. I'm blessed to have gotten to see my 30th Birthday and I would like to thank all those that took the time out to celebrate with me and that sent well wishes my way!
Stay Tuned To See What Else Lies Beyond The Pretty
Sincerely,
Ms. Perfectly Imperfect
P.S.
During a conversation I had recently it was brought to my attention that I wait until whatever I am going through has passed to write about it instead of writing while I'm going through it. And I can admit that I unintentionally intentionally am guilty of this but I am going to try my best to do better about that I promise.
You see.....I thought that I had gotten past the fact that I had not accomplished some of the things I wanted to accomplish by 30. I just knew that I was no longer bitter about not being married and having a family, but God showed me that that was the very reason why I wanted things to be so PERFECT. It was because I was internally feeling empty in that area and I just wanted one thing in my life to go as I planned. I just finally wanted to get something that I wanted when I wanted it. I know as someone that is wholeheartedly pursuing a relationship with Jesus I really should not feel that way, but quite frankly a lot of times I do. I know 100% that God's timing is PERFECT and that He has some amazing things in store for me but it is HARD walking that out daily especially when every corner you turn you see people getting the very things that you are praying for.
To be perfectly honest some days I refrain from going on social media because I frankly just can not handle seeing someone else get engaged or having a baby or getting a new job. I find myself being unhappy for them when I know that that is not God's heart at all. Those are the days I really have to get into His word and remind myself of who He is and the promises He has made to me. You see I'm learning that all of this starts in my mind so anytime those thoughts creep in I have to recognize that they aren't from God because He says that He knows the plans that He has for me to give me a future and a hope. So the minute I start thinking that these things are not going to happen for me and being bitter about it I have to cast down the negative thought because it will have me like I was after my birthday. Depressed, Unhappy and Bitter.
As I look back I kick myself because I knew better and if I would have cast those thoughts down my birthday really would have been everything that I wanted it to be. I really should have said so what the guy that was in my life at the time and others did not show up. The people that I love most in this world did. My mom told me that the people that God wanted there would be there and they were and that is really all that mattered. And I truly did have a great time. I got to spend some QT with my ladies that I do not get to see that often and we discovered that if our careers were to go south we could definitely be the next YouTube sensation. And I marked a couple things off my bucket list. I really wish that I could get a do over on this one.
I'm growing and learning day by day y'all. That is really the real of it. I have great days when I am able to cast down thoughts that do not line up with His word and I have days that I struggle. Those days I struggle bring me closer to Him because those are the days I really have to cast my cares upon Him and know that He cares for me and understands my struggle like no one else can. I'm blessed to have gotten to see my 30th Birthday and I would like to thank all those that took the time out to celebrate with me and that sent well wishes my way!
Stay Tuned To See What Else Lies Beyond The Pretty
Sincerely,
Ms. Perfectly Imperfect
P.S.
During a conversation I had recently it was brought to my attention that I wait until whatever I am going through has passed to write about it instead of writing while I'm going through it. And I can admit that I unintentionally intentionally am guilty of this but I am going to try my best to do better about that I promise.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Appropriate Smallness
Often times we tend to question God and ask why things are or aren't
happening to us. We often come to the conclusion that God is punishing us
for something we did or we are suffering because of a wrong decision that
we made. We beat ourselves up about our mistakes instead of understanding that
God is a loving God and He takes us through things to get us to the place He needs
us to be to help build His kingdom.
Through my own walk I have learned that during my "valley" times God is trying to get me to a place of completely trusting Him with the situation I am in or He is trying to get some mess out of me that is hindering my walk with Him. Today we shall focus on some of my mess! Believe it or not I have learned to have complete Joy when the Lord reveals to me the ugliest parts of me. It reminds me that I am perfectly imperfect!!!
I have written before that I struggle in the area of my career and I very often question God as to why it seems like I am the only one of my law school peers not practicing and not using the skills that I have been equipped with in my current position. God has repeatedly told me that it is not yet my time and I have learned to trust in God's timing in this area. However, today in His perfect love He has decided to reveal to me the why it has yet to be my time.
I am reading a book called The Life You've Always Wanted by John Ortberg that focuses on spiritual disciplines. This morning I read Chapter 7 "Appropriate Smallness" The Practice of Servanthood. In today’s society no one wants to think of themselves as being "small." We want to be the best, brightest, smartest, flyest, etc. We all want to be the first and no one wants to be the last. In fact this sort of behavior is celebrated and the person that wants to remain in the background is often ridiculed and chastised for not being more assertive and aggressive. We may not want to admit it or honestly may not even see it, but this way of thinking is a form of Pride and for me it answered the question of why it was not yet my time.
You see for me becoming an attorney was accompanied by a sense of prestige. I had reached a certain "level" in life and it was to be celebrated. I can remember telling people that there was no way that I would even date someone that was not on my "level." I felt that being an attorney placed me on a pedestal and now I had this image that I must uphold. Do not get me wrong I know that graduating from law school and passing the bar are great accomplishments; however, God placed me in this position so that I could serve others using this unique gift that He gave me and not for me to feel like “look at me I made it!” Being a follower of Christ is all about living a life of humility. It is the anti-look at me life.
God saw the pride in me when I did not see it in myself and there was no way that I could help to advance His Kingdom with that on the inside of me. I was not yet ready. Instead, He placed me in position where I had to completely trust and depend on Him. I had this degree, but I had no money to even pay for my bar study course or to pay any of my bills during this time. I passed the bar, but still had no money to put gas in my car to get to the few interviews I was fortunate enough to be granted. And for some strange reason ALL of those interviews were followed by rejection letters. When He finally blessed me with a job and I was no longer broke, I was ashamed to tell people what I did because of the image I felt I had to uphold. For a long time I have felt like the work that I have done since passing the bar is so far beneath me. It’s like I am doing these mundane task day after day and I am like “really God? This is not what I stayed up countless nights studying and crying for.” “When is it going to be my time to shine God?”
You see I thanked God for being in a rare position of being under worked and overpaid. I trusted God and knew that He had me in this place for a reason but never did I imagine that that reason was because I was prideful. Unbeknownst to me, all this time God was just trying to show me that because of my title and achievements I had placed myself on a pedestal to where I felt that I had reached some arbitrary “level” and was beyond doing mundane tasks. I learned from the book that it is in doing the mundane tasks that God helps us to overcome that prideful spirit that tries to keep us from becoming conformed to the image of Christ. God revealed to me that pride destroys our capacity to love, it moves us to exclude instead of embrace, it moves us to bow down before a mirror rather than before God and it moves us to judge rather than to serve. All this is completely contrary to the ministry He has placed on the inside of us as one of His followers. Christ himself is the ultimate example of how to live a humble life. Although He was God, He did not think of equality with God as something to cling to, but instead He gave up His divine privileges and took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. - Philippians 2:6-11. The Lord himself said that He came not to be served but to serve.
In using the gifts that Christ has given us we aren't to look for status or clout and the only image we should be concerned with is conforming to the image of Christ. We are to use or gifts to just help people. It is when we realize that our life is not about us and who we want to be and what we want to do that we will be free from so many of the burdens we have placed on ourselves. I felt the weights lift off me this morning and my prayer is for you all reading this to experience this as well.
Until next time....Stay tuned to see what else lies Beyond The Pretty!
Through my own walk I have learned that during my "valley" times God is trying to get me to a place of completely trusting Him with the situation I am in or He is trying to get some mess out of me that is hindering my walk with Him. Today we shall focus on some of my mess! Believe it or not I have learned to have complete Joy when the Lord reveals to me the ugliest parts of me. It reminds me that I am perfectly imperfect!!!
I have written before that I struggle in the area of my career and I very often question God as to why it seems like I am the only one of my law school peers not practicing and not using the skills that I have been equipped with in my current position. God has repeatedly told me that it is not yet my time and I have learned to trust in God's timing in this area. However, today in His perfect love He has decided to reveal to me the why it has yet to be my time.
I am reading a book called The Life You've Always Wanted by John Ortberg that focuses on spiritual disciplines. This morning I read Chapter 7 "Appropriate Smallness" The Practice of Servanthood. In today’s society no one wants to think of themselves as being "small." We want to be the best, brightest, smartest, flyest, etc. We all want to be the first and no one wants to be the last. In fact this sort of behavior is celebrated and the person that wants to remain in the background is often ridiculed and chastised for not being more assertive and aggressive. We may not want to admit it or honestly may not even see it, but this way of thinking is a form of Pride and for me it answered the question of why it was not yet my time.
You see for me becoming an attorney was accompanied by a sense of prestige. I had reached a certain "level" in life and it was to be celebrated. I can remember telling people that there was no way that I would even date someone that was not on my "level." I felt that being an attorney placed me on a pedestal and now I had this image that I must uphold. Do not get me wrong I know that graduating from law school and passing the bar are great accomplishments; however, God placed me in this position so that I could serve others using this unique gift that He gave me and not for me to feel like “look at me I made it!” Being a follower of Christ is all about living a life of humility. It is the anti-look at me life.
God saw the pride in me when I did not see it in myself and there was no way that I could help to advance His Kingdom with that on the inside of me. I was not yet ready. Instead, He placed me in position where I had to completely trust and depend on Him. I had this degree, but I had no money to even pay for my bar study course or to pay any of my bills during this time. I passed the bar, but still had no money to put gas in my car to get to the few interviews I was fortunate enough to be granted. And for some strange reason ALL of those interviews were followed by rejection letters. When He finally blessed me with a job and I was no longer broke, I was ashamed to tell people what I did because of the image I felt I had to uphold. For a long time I have felt like the work that I have done since passing the bar is so far beneath me. It’s like I am doing these mundane task day after day and I am like “really God? This is not what I stayed up countless nights studying and crying for.” “When is it going to be my time to shine God?”
You see I thanked God for being in a rare position of being under worked and overpaid. I trusted God and knew that He had me in this place for a reason but never did I imagine that that reason was because I was prideful. Unbeknownst to me, all this time God was just trying to show me that because of my title and achievements I had placed myself on a pedestal to where I felt that I had reached some arbitrary “level” and was beyond doing mundane tasks. I learned from the book that it is in doing the mundane tasks that God helps us to overcome that prideful spirit that tries to keep us from becoming conformed to the image of Christ. God revealed to me that pride destroys our capacity to love, it moves us to exclude instead of embrace, it moves us to bow down before a mirror rather than before God and it moves us to judge rather than to serve. All this is completely contrary to the ministry He has placed on the inside of us as one of His followers. Christ himself is the ultimate example of how to live a humble life. Although He was God, He did not think of equality with God as something to cling to, but instead He gave up His divine privileges and took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. - Philippians 2:6-11. The Lord himself said that He came not to be served but to serve.
In using the gifts that Christ has given us we aren't to look for status or clout and the only image we should be concerned with is conforming to the image of Christ. We are to use or gifts to just help people. It is when we realize that our life is not about us and who we want to be and what we want to do that we will be free from so many of the burdens we have placed on ourselves. I felt the weights lift off me this morning and my prayer is for you all reading this to experience this as well.
Until next time....Stay tuned to see what else lies Beyond The Pretty!
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
She Can Only Be Her
So recently (like Saturday) a friend asked me to be a part of a new segment
on her blog. She wants to spotlight accomplished black women and style them in 3 different looks while featuring their
accomplishments. My first reaction was ummmm she (yes thanks to Tamar I now
frequently refer to myself in the 3rd person) has not accomplished anything.
She shares an apartment with a roommate, works at a job where she is overpaid
and under worked, is not married and does not have one of the many babies she
has always dreamed of having. It was as if I was saying out loud for the first
time my many shortcomings and it stung more than I thought it would. But true
to form, my friend snapped me back to reality and helped to point out how far
I've actually come.
Without realizing it, I had started to compare myself to others and was measuring my accomplishments based on what others were doing. I even found myself questioning God and wondering why not me. Why don't I have the nice comfy firm job like most of my law school classmates? Why don't I have the husband and children like EVERYONE I see on Facebook? Why am I still renting instead of owning my own home? Just why God why?
The “plan” was to have my career, husband, house and 3 children by 29 and here I am 29 with none of these things. I rarely say these things out loud and I would never dare to say it to the Lord. I was crazy enough to think that Jesus didn't know what was in my heart when in actuality "for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." - Matthew 6:8. I was honestly thinking that because I am not in the place where I thought I would be that I am not worthy of being featured as an "accomplished" black women. However, I was forgetting one important thing "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him."
God in his infinite wisdom showed me that I have to stop comparing myself to other people and stop thinking because they "have it" so should I. We were not all meant to walk down the same path and we all have a different function in the Kingdom of God. For Romans 12:4-6 tells us "For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us." In all actuality since undergrad not much has worked out for me how and when I thought it would. The plan was to go to law school right after undergrad but right after turned into two years later but it did eventually happen. I was supposed to move to DC right after taking the bar but it did eventually happen seven months later. God reminded me Saturday that the things He has promised me may not have happened in my timing but they have happened in His perfect timing.
The most important thing I got out of my encounter with God Saturday is that I have to stop looking at myself through my own eyes and start seeing myself the way God sees me. You see God saw Abram as the father of many nations so He started calling Him Abraham, He saw Sarai as the mother of many nations from which kings of people will come and He started to call her Sarah. You see in their old age and before they even conceived a child together God saw into their future. Despite them laughing at Him He called them by what they were going to become and not how they saw themselves now. See we have to trust and believe that when the Lord says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" He means just that. God used my friend to show me that the things that I was looking at as shortcomings were merely things He saw as not yet accomplished.
I thank God that when I need Him most He is right there to remind me who He is and what He has been to me. You see Jesus reminded me through my friend that I have accomplished more than I ever could’ve dreamed of. I have come from being a girl in Liberty City (one of the cities featured on First 48) that was raised by a single mother of four, to a God fearing woman with the ability to practice law. I may not have a job in a firm "practicing" law daily but I am licensed in two jurisdictions and I have the ability to practice what I want, when I want and how I want. I may not have a ring on my finger but I have a man that loves me like Christ loves His church. I know (although I have to constantly remind myself) that the plans that the Lord has for me are greater than anything I can ever imagine.
In the words of one of the greatest to ever play the game...."For me, I can't worry about what everybody says about me. I'm Alkeyvia Walker, from Miami, Florida. From the inner city. I'm not even supposed to be here." That's enough. Every time I sign a document and I am able to put ESQ behind it, I'm blessed. So what everybody say about me outside of the courtroom don't matter. I ain't got no worries."
Until next time. Follow me to see what else lies Beyond The Pretty!
Shouts out to my girl miyathebee87 for giving me the reality check I needed. Love ya to pieces hun. Check out her blog www.miyathebeefashion.wordpress.com.
Without realizing it, I had started to compare myself to others and was measuring my accomplishments based on what others were doing. I even found myself questioning God and wondering why not me. Why don't I have the nice comfy firm job like most of my law school classmates? Why don't I have the husband and children like EVERYONE I see on Facebook? Why am I still renting instead of owning my own home? Just why God why?
The “plan” was to have my career, husband, house and 3 children by 29 and here I am 29 with none of these things. I rarely say these things out loud and I would never dare to say it to the Lord. I was crazy enough to think that Jesus didn't know what was in my heart when in actuality "for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." - Matthew 6:8. I was honestly thinking that because I am not in the place where I thought I would be that I am not worthy of being featured as an "accomplished" black women. However, I was forgetting one important thing "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him."
God in his infinite wisdom showed me that I have to stop comparing myself to other people and stop thinking because they "have it" so should I. We were not all meant to walk down the same path and we all have a different function in the Kingdom of God. For Romans 12:4-6 tells us "For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us." In all actuality since undergrad not much has worked out for me how and when I thought it would. The plan was to go to law school right after undergrad but right after turned into two years later but it did eventually happen. I was supposed to move to DC right after taking the bar but it did eventually happen seven months later. God reminded me Saturday that the things He has promised me may not have happened in my timing but they have happened in His perfect timing.
The most important thing I got out of my encounter with God Saturday is that I have to stop looking at myself through my own eyes and start seeing myself the way God sees me. You see God saw Abram as the father of many nations so He started calling Him Abraham, He saw Sarai as the mother of many nations from which kings of people will come and He started to call her Sarah. You see in their old age and before they even conceived a child together God saw into their future. Despite them laughing at Him He called them by what they were going to become and not how they saw themselves now. See we have to trust and believe that when the Lord says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" He means just that. God used my friend to show me that the things that I was looking at as shortcomings were merely things He saw as not yet accomplished.
I thank God that when I need Him most He is right there to remind me who He is and what He has been to me. You see Jesus reminded me through my friend that I have accomplished more than I ever could’ve dreamed of. I have come from being a girl in Liberty City (one of the cities featured on First 48) that was raised by a single mother of four, to a God fearing woman with the ability to practice law. I may not have a job in a firm "practicing" law daily but I am licensed in two jurisdictions and I have the ability to practice what I want, when I want and how I want. I may not have a ring on my finger but I have a man that loves me like Christ loves His church. I know (although I have to constantly remind myself) that the plans that the Lord has for me are greater than anything I can ever imagine.
In the words of one of the greatest to ever play the game...."For me, I can't worry about what everybody says about me. I'm Alkeyvia Walker, from Miami, Florida. From the inner city. I'm not even supposed to be here." That's enough. Every time I sign a document and I am able to put ESQ behind it, I'm blessed. So what everybody say about me outside of the courtroom don't matter. I ain't got no worries."
Until next time. Follow me to see what else lies Beyond The Pretty!
Shouts out to my girl miyathebee87 for giving me the reality check I needed. Love ya to pieces hun. Check out her blog www.miyathebeefashion.wordpress.com.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Justice For Trayvon - Truth Moment
Since the Trayvon Martin verdict came down social media has been outraged at our "failed justice system." I can admit that my first thought was "its times like this I do not like being associated with our justice system." But shortly thereafter someone reminded me that the reason I became apart of this system was to be an advocate that could relate to the struggles of my clients.
I have been struggling with whether I should comment on some of the posts that have flooded my timelines and after having a conversation with a friend I decided to write this post instead. I believe it is time for a truth moment.
I'm sure you all have seen the posts with the quote "A system cannot fail those it was never built to protect." While I agree that this statement is completely true, it baffles me that if we really believe this, then why do we continue to make decisions where we repeatedly subject ourselves to such a system? How do we do this, allow me to explain.....
1) Instead of education being the number one priority for our children we are more focused on them winning best dressed. It is sad that at an elementary school age children are more concerned about what shoes they have on their feet and what label they have written across their behinds than they are about their education. But we can't blame them because they are just going off the actions of their parents. We stand in line for hours to get them the new Js, but don't take the time out to go to PTA meetings or help with homework. I constantly see parents posting more pictures of their children's outfits than their success in the classroom. We constantly reward them for being mediocre in school instead of instilling the fear of God in them when they bring home bad grades. When I was growing up I was never rewarded for bringing home anything less than an A. Nowadays I see parents proud that their children don't have Ds and Fs. We know all the latest brands but are clueless about the college admissions process.
2) Instead of instilling in our little black boys to make their education their number one priority, we place athletics above everything. The last time I checked colleges and universities refer to their students with athletic abilities as STUDENT-Athletes. However, in our community we worry about the athletics first and the student later. Parents pack the stands on game day but once again are a no show at the school. Why is it that their is always a question as to whether the "star" athlete in the city will be academically eligible to participate in collegiate sports? Or why is that he has to take his standardized tests 3 or 4 times before he gets a score that qualifies him for admission into college. Or even better why is it that his white college teammate is starting college as a sophomore and he's taking remedial English and Math? I will tell you why, because practice comes before homework and paying the money for him to look good takes priority over paying for that study guide or tutor he needs to be successful in the classroom.
3) Instead of creating our own empire and investing our money in property ownership, we choose to invest our money in labels like Nike, True Religion, Michael Kors and Christian Louboutin to sustain their empires. I mention property ownership because it is property taxes that determine how much money is given to our schools. If you live an area that consists of only rentals, do the math and tell me how much money if any is going to the school? So how can we complain that our schools aren't getting adequate funding, when all the "funding" we get is being spent on labels. It's crazy how many Instagramers apartment's closests are filled with Jordans and Red Bottoms.
As a result of looks being placed above education, the mentality becomes I have to get these Js or this outfit by any means. It pains me to see the number of young people that are falling victim to this "unjust" system because they feel the need to have to steal or sale drugs just so they can "look good" going to school without as much as a thought as to how this decision will affect their future. Where I'm from "boosters" are being praised and the mentality has become why get a job and work for it when I can steal it for free?
Bottom line is we as a people have our PRIORITIES all mixed up and in order to prevent future Trayvon situations from happening we have to start making better decisions. This microwave mentality may work for our counterparts but the reality is we have to work twice as hard to get what we want. It is not right but life is not always about right and wrong and this is our reality. It is time out for pointing the finger at "the man" for the reason why we are where we are and it is time for taking a long look at the person in the mirror. We can start changing the world by starting in our households and families. Stop rewarding these children for being mediocre and start pushing them to be great so that they can be lawyers, judges, police and probation officers and jurors. We can't keep complaining about an unjust system if we are unwilling to do our part and put people in positions that can affect change.
DISCLAIMER
I am not saying for one second that it is Trayvon's or his parents' fault that he is not here with us today. I had the honor of meeting his parents and the pain that I saw on their faces will forever be etched in my mind and heart. Zimmerman was wrong and I am sure he will pay for what he has done.
What I am saying is that the jury consisted of 5 white women and 1 hispanic. The prosecution and defense attorneys as well as the judge were all white. Therefore, for this situation to not happen again more people that look like us and understand our struggle have to occupy those positions and that starts and ends with being educated.
Until next time....
I have been struggling with whether I should comment on some of the posts that have flooded my timelines and after having a conversation with a friend I decided to write this post instead. I believe it is time for a truth moment.
I'm sure you all have seen the posts with the quote "A system cannot fail those it was never built to protect." While I agree that this statement is completely true, it baffles me that if we really believe this, then why do we continue to make decisions where we repeatedly subject ourselves to such a system? How do we do this, allow me to explain.....
1) Instead of education being the number one priority for our children we are more focused on them winning best dressed. It is sad that at an elementary school age children are more concerned about what shoes they have on their feet and what label they have written across their behinds than they are about their education. But we can't blame them because they are just going off the actions of their parents. We stand in line for hours to get them the new Js, but don't take the time out to go to PTA meetings or help with homework. I constantly see parents posting more pictures of their children's outfits than their success in the classroom. We constantly reward them for being mediocre in school instead of instilling the fear of God in them when they bring home bad grades. When I was growing up I was never rewarded for bringing home anything less than an A. Nowadays I see parents proud that their children don't have Ds and Fs. We know all the latest brands but are clueless about the college admissions process.
2) Instead of instilling in our little black boys to make their education their number one priority, we place athletics above everything. The last time I checked colleges and universities refer to their students with athletic abilities as STUDENT-Athletes. However, in our community we worry about the athletics first and the student later. Parents pack the stands on game day but once again are a no show at the school. Why is it that their is always a question as to whether the "star" athlete in the city will be academically eligible to participate in collegiate sports? Or why is that he has to take his standardized tests 3 or 4 times before he gets a score that qualifies him for admission into college. Or even better why is it that his white college teammate is starting college as a sophomore and he's taking remedial English and Math? I will tell you why, because practice comes before homework and paying the money for him to look good takes priority over paying for that study guide or tutor he needs to be successful in the classroom.
3) Instead of creating our own empire and investing our money in property ownership, we choose to invest our money in labels like Nike, True Religion, Michael Kors and Christian Louboutin to sustain their empires. I mention property ownership because it is property taxes that determine how much money is given to our schools. If you live an area that consists of only rentals, do the math and tell me how much money if any is going to the school? So how can we complain that our schools aren't getting adequate funding, when all the "funding" we get is being spent on labels. It's crazy how many Instagramers apartment's closests are filled with Jordans and Red Bottoms.
As a result of looks being placed above education, the mentality becomes I have to get these Js or this outfit by any means. It pains me to see the number of young people that are falling victim to this "unjust" system because they feel the need to have to steal or sale drugs just so they can "look good" going to school without as much as a thought as to how this decision will affect their future. Where I'm from "boosters" are being praised and the mentality has become why get a job and work for it when I can steal it for free?
Bottom line is we as a people have our PRIORITIES all mixed up and in order to prevent future Trayvon situations from happening we have to start making better decisions. This microwave mentality may work for our counterparts but the reality is we have to work twice as hard to get what we want. It is not right but life is not always about right and wrong and this is our reality. It is time out for pointing the finger at "the man" for the reason why we are where we are and it is time for taking a long look at the person in the mirror. We can start changing the world by starting in our households and families. Stop rewarding these children for being mediocre and start pushing them to be great so that they can be lawyers, judges, police and probation officers and jurors. We can't keep complaining about an unjust system if we are unwilling to do our part and put people in positions that can affect change.
DISCLAIMER
I am not saying for one second that it is Trayvon's or his parents' fault that he is not here with us today. I had the honor of meeting his parents and the pain that I saw on their faces will forever be etched in my mind and heart. Zimmerman was wrong and I am sure he will pay for what he has done.
What I am saying is that the jury consisted of 5 white women and 1 hispanic. The prosecution and defense attorneys as well as the judge were all white. Therefore, for this situation to not happen again more people that look like us and understand our struggle have to occupy those positions and that starts and ends with being educated.
Until next time....
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Happy New Year!
Happy New New Year!!
I can not believe it is 2013 already, I am still processing everything that happened in 2012! However, I thought that I would start the new year of right with a quick post about the biggest lesson I learned in 2012.
Monday (NYE) I worked 10hrs (still making up time from my Christmas vacay)! I was dead tired when I got home but just as I was about to jump in the shower and hit the sack, all I could hear was Dru's voice in my ear yelling "Do not go into 2013 with a dirty house!" So despite my pure exhaustion I managed to gather some energy to clean up. As I was cleaning my room I began to reflect on 2012 and I realized that it had been exactly one year to the day that I made the decision to move to the DMV!
2011 was year filled with the highs of highs and lows of lows. I lost my aunt in March, graduated from law school in May, studied for the bar for 2.5 months during the summer, broke up with my boyfriend in August, passed the Florida Bar in September and went into a near state of depression in October. After I came down from the high of passing the bar, I realized that I was jobless and I had bills being thrown at me from every direction. To top it off I was back in Miami which was the last place on earth I wanted to be. It seemed like everyday the enemy was attacking me every way he knew how. I had no money, bill collectors calling me and doors for jobs were being slammed in my face all at once. It was baaaaaad!! There were days that I wondered why me and all I could do was cry. But God being God showed up on a day when I was feeling real bad. I was listening to the radio or something and the words of Kirk Franklin's song Smile gave me life, literally! "I know God is working so I smile. Even though I've been here for a while, I smile." I realized that despite what I was going through God was working behind the scenes and I had no reason to feel the way I was feeling. And to put a stamp on it to let me know that it was Him ministering to me, He led me to Romans 8:28 which says "ALL things work together for the the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose!" I knew I had to trust Him at His word and believe that there was a reason that I was broke and jobless and that it was somehow serving a purpose for my future!
Still, I needed to get away from everything that reminded of what I was going through so when my big sis called and asked me to come visit I hopped on the first plane to the DMV and I spent the last three weeks of 2011 there. During my visit God showed me that I did not completely trust Him like I thought I did. He brought back to my remembrance that He placed in my spirit the desire to move to the DMV a while ago. He reminded me that I came up with every excuse as to why I couldn't go: no job, no money, too cold, too far from family etc and that I completely dismissed Him. I thank God that even when we miss Him, He still finds us. I realized that I needed to do my part in this faith walk and completely trust God, so as I got on the plane back to Miami on NYE 2011 I decided that I wasn't going to let anything or anyone stop me from pursuing my dreams. I had heard so many times that God does not give us a vision without first making provision for us to see our vision through, so I decided that the first thing I was going to do in 2012 was move to the DMV. I did not know how I was going to do it, but I knew that if it was in God's will for my life Jesus would make it happen!
Despite being completely broke I started looking for apartments. Its crazy that the first person that I contacted was the apartment I moved into. I committed to moving into an apartment not knowing how I was going to qualify and pay for it with no income. I remember everyday just praying "Lord if its your will I know that you will work it out." And he did just that. He set it up so that I did not need any income to be added to the lease, all I needed to do was pass the background check and He reminded me that I had a storage unit full of furniture in Gainesville that I could sale and use the proceeds to pay my travel expenses and my first month's rent. Although I did not make the money that I wanted to from selling my things it was enough to pay for everything I needed. I arrived in the DMV February 7, 2012, had a job interview on February 9, 2012 and started working February 16, 2012. God is Amazing!!!!!!!!
The biggest lesson I learned in 2012 was to completely trust God. Life will seldom go the way we plan it but it will always go just as God planned. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." If we believe this, then we must trust that no matter how a situation looks and how the odds are stacked against us, ALL things will work together for our good if we love the Lord and are called according to his purpose!! I am sooo excited to see the plans that God has for me this year and I challenge you to completely trust Him in 2013!!
Tune in next time to see what else lies Beyond the Pretty!
I can not believe it is 2013 already, I am still processing everything that happened in 2012! However, I thought that I would start the new year of right with a quick post about the biggest lesson I learned in 2012.
Monday (NYE) I worked 10hrs (still making up time from my Christmas vacay)! I was dead tired when I got home but just as I was about to jump in the shower and hit the sack, all I could hear was Dru's voice in my ear yelling "Do not go into 2013 with a dirty house!" So despite my pure exhaustion I managed to gather some energy to clean up. As I was cleaning my room I began to reflect on 2012 and I realized that it had been exactly one year to the day that I made the decision to move to the DMV!
2011 was year filled with the highs of highs and lows of lows. I lost my aunt in March, graduated from law school in May, studied for the bar for 2.5 months during the summer, broke up with my boyfriend in August, passed the Florida Bar in September and went into a near state of depression in October. After I came down from the high of passing the bar, I realized that I was jobless and I had bills being thrown at me from every direction. To top it off I was back in Miami which was the last place on earth I wanted to be. It seemed like everyday the enemy was attacking me every way he knew how. I had no money, bill collectors calling me and doors for jobs were being slammed in my face all at once. It was baaaaaad!! There were days that I wondered why me and all I could do was cry. But God being God showed up on a day when I was feeling real bad. I was listening to the radio or something and the words of Kirk Franklin's song Smile gave me life, literally! "I know God is working so I smile. Even though I've been here for a while, I smile." I realized that despite what I was going through God was working behind the scenes and I had no reason to feel the way I was feeling. And to put a stamp on it to let me know that it was Him ministering to me, He led me to Romans 8:28 which says "ALL things work together for the the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose!" I knew I had to trust Him at His word and believe that there was a reason that I was broke and jobless and that it was somehow serving a purpose for my future!
Still, I needed to get away from everything that reminded of what I was going through so when my big sis called and asked me to come visit I hopped on the first plane to the DMV and I spent the last three weeks of 2011 there. During my visit God showed me that I did not completely trust Him like I thought I did. He brought back to my remembrance that He placed in my spirit the desire to move to the DMV a while ago. He reminded me that I came up with every excuse as to why I couldn't go: no job, no money, too cold, too far from family etc and that I completely dismissed Him. I thank God that even when we miss Him, He still finds us. I realized that I needed to do my part in this faith walk and completely trust God, so as I got on the plane back to Miami on NYE 2011 I decided that I wasn't going to let anything or anyone stop me from pursuing my dreams. I had heard so many times that God does not give us a vision without first making provision for us to see our vision through, so I decided that the first thing I was going to do in 2012 was move to the DMV. I did not know how I was going to do it, but I knew that if it was in God's will for my life Jesus would make it happen!
Despite being completely broke I started looking for apartments. Its crazy that the first person that I contacted was the apartment I moved into. I committed to moving into an apartment not knowing how I was going to qualify and pay for it with no income. I remember everyday just praying "Lord if its your will I know that you will work it out." And he did just that. He set it up so that I did not need any income to be added to the lease, all I needed to do was pass the background check and He reminded me that I had a storage unit full of furniture in Gainesville that I could sale and use the proceeds to pay my travel expenses and my first month's rent. Although I did not make the money that I wanted to from selling my things it was enough to pay for everything I needed. I arrived in the DMV February 7, 2012, had a job interview on February 9, 2012 and started working February 16, 2012. God is Amazing!!!!!!!!
The biggest lesson I learned in 2012 was to completely trust God. Life will seldom go the way we plan it but it will always go just as God planned. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." If we believe this, then we must trust that no matter how a situation looks and how the odds are stacked against us, ALL things will work together for our good if we love the Lord and are called according to his purpose!! I am sooo excited to see the plans that God has for me this year and I challenge you to completely trust Him in 2013!!
Tune in next time to see what else lies Beyond the Pretty!
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Letter To My Younger Self!
Dearest Alkeyvia,
Everything that you are and everything that you will become is because of your relationship with Jesus. It is very important that you know that having a relationship with Him is the most important relationship that you will ever have. Although, your mother and brothers will offer you advice, He alone is the ONLY one that can direct you down the right path. Hold on to that relationship no matter what because He is all you will ever need. He will be your provider in times of lack, your comforter in times of sorrow, your strength in times of weakness, your peace in times of trouble, your healer in times of sickness and your biggest supporter in times of triumph. He loves you like no man ever will.
You may look around right now and all you see is poverty, drugs and pain but if you will keep pressing forward and trusting God I promise you that Jesus will take you to places that you never dreamed of. Remember you can do ALL things through Christ!
You WILL make mistakes in life and do things that you aren't exactly proud of, but do not allow those things to have you living in fear. Know that God says in his word that NOTHING that we could possibly do will ever separate us from his love. Stand on Romans 8 verses 38-39 "And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Do not be so hard on yourself! Forgive yourself for the mistakes you will make and for the things you will do that you aren't too proud of. Learn from them and move forward. Do not beat yourself up or dwell on the past, it will not define you or the woman that you will become. Know that you serve a FORGIVING not a condemning God. Jesus says in His word that we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and that He will forgive our wickedness and remember our sins no more. If God can forgive you, then you MUST forgive yourself and leave your past behind you.
Love who you see when you look in the mirror. Do not ever be afraid or ashamed of who you are. Yes you will make mistakes but you are a child of the most high and You ARE a Proverbs 31 woman and don't you ever forget that. See yourself as God sees you; as chosen, set apart, approved, and accepted into heaven. Knowing who you are and setting standards for yourself will be an integral part of the woman you will become.
Despite your bothers efforts to protect you, your heart will be broken. But at the end of every relationship rejoice in knowing that you dodged a bullet! Know that he was not God's will for your life and move on! The man that God has for you will love you like Jesus loves His church. He will be willing to lay down his life so that you can live an abundant one.
Life will not always go as planned hun! You won't be married and done having kids at 29, you won't go to law school when you want and you won't get a job right out of law school. There will be too many times when you won't get what YOU want, But all that is OK!! You will realize that what you need will be far better than what you want. Remember that the plan that God has for you is far better than any plan you can ever have for yourself.
If you remember nothing else I have said, remember to be patient, to forgive yourself when you make mistakes and most importantly, TRUST God!
Love,
Your 28 year old self!
Everything that you are and everything that you will become is because of your relationship with Jesus. It is very important that you know that having a relationship with Him is the most important relationship that you will ever have. Although, your mother and brothers will offer you advice, He alone is the ONLY one that can direct you down the right path. Hold on to that relationship no matter what because He is all you will ever need. He will be your provider in times of lack, your comforter in times of sorrow, your strength in times of weakness, your peace in times of trouble, your healer in times of sickness and your biggest supporter in times of triumph. He loves you like no man ever will.
You may look around right now and all you see is poverty, drugs and pain but if you will keep pressing forward and trusting God I promise you that Jesus will take you to places that you never dreamed of. Remember you can do ALL things through Christ!
You WILL make mistakes in life and do things that you aren't exactly proud of, but do not allow those things to have you living in fear. Know that God says in his word that NOTHING that we could possibly do will ever separate us from his love. Stand on Romans 8 verses 38-39 "And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Do not be so hard on yourself! Forgive yourself for the mistakes you will make and for the things you will do that you aren't too proud of. Learn from them and move forward. Do not beat yourself up or dwell on the past, it will not define you or the woman that you will become. Know that you serve a FORGIVING not a condemning God. Jesus says in His word that we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and that He will forgive our wickedness and remember our sins no more. If God can forgive you, then you MUST forgive yourself and leave your past behind you.
Love who you see when you look in the mirror. Do not ever be afraid or ashamed of who you are. Yes you will make mistakes but you are a child of the most high and You ARE a Proverbs 31 woman and don't you ever forget that. See yourself as God sees you; as chosen, set apart, approved, and accepted into heaven. Knowing who you are and setting standards for yourself will be an integral part of the woman you will become.
Despite your bothers efforts to protect you, your heart will be broken. But at the end of every relationship rejoice in knowing that you dodged a bullet! Know that he was not God's will for your life and move on! The man that God has for you will love you like Jesus loves His church. He will be willing to lay down his life so that you can live an abundant one.
Life will not always go as planned hun! You won't be married and done having kids at 29, you won't go to law school when you want and you won't get a job right out of law school. There will be too many times when you won't get what YOU want, But all that is OK!! You will realize that what you need will be far better than what you want. Remember that the plan that God has for you is far better than any plan you can ever have for yourself.
If you remember nothing else I have said, remember to be patient, to forgive yourself when you make mistakes and most importantly, TRUST God!
Love,
Your 28 year old self!
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