Letter To My Younger Self!

Dearest Alkeyvia,

Everything that you are and everything that you will become is because of your relationship with Jesus. It is very important that you know that having a relationship with Him is the most important relationship that you will ever have. Although, your mother and brothers will offer you advice, He alone is the ONLY one that can direct you down the right path. Hold on to that relationship no matter what because He is all you will ever need. He will be your provider in times of lack, your comforter in times of sorrow, your strength in times of weakness, your peace in times of trouble, your healer in times of sickness and your biggest supporter in times of triumph. He loves you like no man ever will.

You may look around right now and all you see is poverty, drugs and pain but if you will keep pressing forward and trusting God I promise you that Jesus will take you to places that you never dreamed of. Remember you can do ALL things through Christ!

You WILL make mistakes in life and do things that you aren't exactly proud of, but do not allow those things to have you living in fear. Know that God says in his word that NOTHING that we could possibly do will ever separate us from his love. Stand on Romans 8 verses 38-39  ^"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." 

Do not be so hard on yourself! Forgive yourself for the mistakes you will make and for the things you will do that you aren't too proud of. Learn from them and move forward. Do not beat yourself up or dwell on the past, it will not define you or the woman that you will become. Know that you serve a FORGIVING not a condemning God. Jesus says in His word that we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and that He will forgive our wickedness and remember our sins no more. If God can forgive you, then you MUST forgive yourself and leave your past behind you.

Love who you see when you look in the mirror. Do not ever be afraid or ashamed of who you are. Yes you will make mistakes but you are a child of the most high and You ARE a Proverbs 31 woman and don't you ever forget that. See yourself as God sees you; as chosen, set apart, approved, and accepted into heaven. Knowing who you are and setting standards for yourself will be an integral part of the woman you will become.   

Despite your bothers efforts to protect you, your heart will be broken. But at the end of every relationship rejoice in knowing that you dodged a bullet! Know that he was not God's will for your life and move on! The man that God has for you will love you like Jesus loves His church. He will be willing to lay down his life so that you can live an abundant one.

Life will not always go as planned hun! You won't be married and done having kids at 29, you won't go to law school when you want and you won't get a job right out of law school. There will be too many times when you won't get what YOU want, But all that is OK!! You will realize that what you need will be far better than what you want. Remember that the plan that God has for you is far better than any plan you can ever have for yourself.

If you remember nothing else I have said, remember to be patient, to forgive yourself when you make mistakes and most importantly, TRUST God!

Love,

Your 28 year old self!

The devil is a Liar!!

In one of my first post I wrote about some of the insecurities I have dealt with over the years. One may look at me and think that because I seem to have it together on the outside, that my inside must be just as nice but that could not be far from the truth. In reality, for a long time I have been so messed up on the inside that it began to manifest itself on the outside. Allow me to explain.....

My first year of law school did not go as well as planned. In fact it was filled with a lot of hard ache and pain and constant, presitent insecure thoughts. I found myself questioning if law school was really the place for me because I felt so out of place. After my first year of law school I really began to wonder who I was, it was as if I woke up one day and looked in the mirror and I did not recognize the person looking back at me. I found myself questioning God's love for me and there were times when I wanted to pray but I just couldn't. I felt like I was not good enough to talk to God so instead of getting on my knees, I would just lay in my bed and cry. I did not realize it at the time but I had managed to allow satan to fill my head with lies about who I was. He tried to tell me that I was not good enough and even provided me with several examples of the mistakes that I had made to emphasize his point.

But Thank God that I have a praying mother!! I remember my mom calling me oneday asking me what was wrong with me. I sat there in complete silence because truth be told I had no answer because I really had no idea what was wrong with me. The next thing out her mouth went something like "don't you know that God loves you and He has great plans for your life." The tears just began to roll because I knew that God was using my mom to speak to me, telling me exactly what I needed to hear. I thank God for my mom being obedient to the Spirit and calling me that day because I could have fell into a deep depression if I had continued to allow satan to speak lies to me. During that conversation with my mom every lie that satan had spoken to me was extinguished and a huge dark cloud was lifted from over me. I believe I rededicated my life to Christ that day and I started going to church and reading and praying and just getting to know Jesus all over again.

The one thing that we cannot do is allow satan to tell us anything about ourselves. The bible tells us that satan is a liar and the father of lies, so we must remember that a liar can NEVER tell us the truth about ourselves because that is just not who he is. He is a liar by nature, therefore we have to know that every thought that he tries to place in our minds is a lie!! I dare you to declare this day that you will NEVER listen to another lie that satan tells you, I guarantee that you life will be changed like never before.

Tune in SOON to see what else lies Beyond the Pretty

P.S. I know this was a short post but it is laying the foundation for my next post!

Why Won't He Act Right??

Recently I had 2 separate conversations about the same subject with two different people which sparked me to write this post. I am constantly going through my Twitter and Facebook feeds and I have to admit that I get a bit annoyed at some of the posts I read from my fellow members of the female persuasion. I am constantly reading their frustrations with the guys they are dating and I have to just shake my head sometimes because women tend to forget the power that we hold. Contrary to what a man wants to admit, it is the woman that holds most of the power in the relationship, but our problem is women are so quick to give up that power that we never realize that we had any in the first place. Don't believe me, lets go to the book of Genesis to the story of the first man and woman God created. Chapter 2 tells the story of God creating man but starting with verse 15 is where we want to focus for the purpose of proving my point with an emphasis on verses 16 and 17...

¹⁵ The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. ¹⁶ And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; ¹⁷ but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”   

God gave strict instructions to Adam (the man) to not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, Eve was not even thought of until after God gave Adam this commandment. However, Adam being the man that he was disobeyed a direct order from God and ate the fruit because Eve (the woman) told him to. Now tell me that is not power!!   

However, over time we have relinquished our God given power and have let men run wild and treat us any kind of way. As a result we constantly complain that “there are no good men left in this world.” I know this because for a long time I felt the same way until God  recently opened my eyes and He even allowed me to experience a few good ones first hand. It is such a cliche to say this but at some point we as women have to stop, take a step back, evaluate the situation and see where the problem really lies. More often than not I think we will find that it is not them (men) that is the problem but the problem is with us (women). A man can only do to us what we allow him to do. Before you start going off on me please allow me to explain. Think of the last guy that you dated or the guy that you are currently dating and ask yourself these simple questions…. 

1.      Where did you meet him?

      

      If your answer is at a club or anything similar then that should give you a clue as to why things did not / are not working. 9 times out of 10 a guy is not going to the club to find the 1 but the one he can take home that night and play with for the next couple of weeks. I said 9 times out of 10 because there is always an exception to every rule. Our problem as women is that we always seem to think that we are the exception instead of the rule. We really have to get out of that grey area mindset and start seeing things black and white because it will be so more beneficial to us in the long run.

2.    Did you meet him or did he meet you?

       

      Today it seems like the roles of a man and a woman have been reversed. All to often it is the women doing the courting instead of the man and we wonder why this is so? It starts with the initial meeting, nowadays it is the woman approaching the man instead of the other way around. We know this is so out of order because the Bible in Proverbs 18:22 clearly states that "The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord. " It does not say anything about the wife finding the man. So ask yourself was it me that approached him or was it him that approached me. If it was you (the woman) that assumed the initial role of the man then do not be surprised if you are still playing that role. Do not get me wrong there is nothing wrong with you making a little eye contact to show the man that you are interested and available but he should be the one seeking you out (read the book of Ruth chapter 3, Naomi instructed Ruth to make herself known to Boaz, but it was Boaz that made the first move).   

3.      Did you let your expectations be known early on?

      

      Too often as women we let the guy dictate the course of the relationship and just go with his flow and there is nothing wrong with that as long as you all are flowing in the same direction. Unfortunately this is very seldom the case. If a relationship is what you are looking for you should let that be known sooner rather than later. One thing we have to learn as women is that guys are one track minded and they usually go off whatever vibes we give them. So if you are just giving him homegirl vibes then that is how he is going to treat you, just like one of the boys. If you giving it up without a commitment well expect him to have multiple girls calling his phone at all hours of the night because in his mind he’s single and in reality he is. However, if you let a guy know early on that what you desire is commitment he’s either going to man up and give you what you want or he’s going to run like the boy that he is, in which case you did not want/need that anyway. I think too often as women we are afraid to say what we want out of fear that we are going to run the guy away but to a guy that is looking for the same thing that you want, to him you will be a breath of fresh air.

5.   Is he letting the world know you are his woman?

      Make no mistake about it, when a guy is really into the woman he is dating and he is thinking long term he will want the world to know that you are off limits. He will not care if you post pictures of the two of you on any of the social media platforms because he wants the world to know you are no longer on the market. A sub-question to this is where are the two of you spending most of your time? If the answer to that question is his place or yours then that is a good sign that he is not looking for anything long term with you because he does not even want anyone to see the two of you together. A guy that is thinking long term will care less who sees the two of you together. Also, there seems to be a trend where females are constantly referring to the guy in their life as dude or something similar but never by his name or an official title and I find this to be cause for alarm as well. If there is commitment then there is a title and you should be able to shout his name from the rooftop period. In the beginning its true you are just dating and getting to know each other but when a guy wants you off the market and all to himself a title will follow, after all all with the ultimate commitment don't you get the title of a wife. I think sometimes we try to sugar coat these things and we trick ourselves into saying we are doing this because we do not want people in our business (and we should not let the world know what we are doing in our relationships) but if we are truly honest with ourselves we want everyone to know _____ is my man and I am his woman.       

4.      Do you know what it is that you want?

      Too many times we say that we want to be in a relationship and we want to be married but do not realize the time and effort it takes to make a relationship work. Everything is always peachy in the beginning but the real test comes when the honeymoon phase is over. Being ready for a husband takes preparation that only God can provide. We have to be free of the hurt and pain of previous relationships gone wrong and that is something only Jesus can cleanse us from. Often this means giving up dating for a while and spending time with the Lord. Additionally, being a wife means more than cooking and cleaning for your husband. We have to take on the role of supporter, encourager, uplifer, lover, prayer, friend and so much more. It is often a wife's responsibility to push a husband into his God ordained destiny and that is not something that will be easy. So before you say that you want a husband ask yourself is it the wedding that you want or the marriage because there is a big difference between the two.

Therfore, I urge you all before you go writing every man off as being no good to take a second or two or three or an hour, couple of days or months and evaluate whatever situation it is that you are in and really dig deep and see if there are some things in you that need to be changed. I will be the first to tell you that self evaluation is tough and very unpleasant but it is needed if you truly want the man that God has for you. I've been through this difficult process and I am still going through it at this very moment, but trust and believe that I am so much more in love with the me that I am today than the me I was 3yrs ago when I started this process. I have no doubt that the man God has for me is just around the corner so it no longer bothers me (I admit it does sting a little bit, this last one sure did lol) when I meet a guy and it does not work out because I know the things I have done to prepare for my husband and I simply write it off as he was just not the one. Women hold so much power and we can save ourselves so much heartache if we simply let go of the fear of being alone and rejected and start letting the members of the opposite sex that we allow in our lives know up front exactly what our expectations are. Remember a guy can only do to you what you allow him to do.

Tune in next time to see what else lies Beyond the Pretty!

Honor Thy Father And Mother.

In honor of my beautiful mother I have come out of hiding lol to dedicate this post to her. I love you mommy.

The bible tells us in Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. The bible further explains in Ephesians 6:2 to "Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise - that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth." Today is a day that we take time out to honor the women in our lives that have taken care of us and nurtured us and loved us.

However, I think that the world we live in has distorted our thinking and beliefs on what the above scriptures really mean. Sadly today I see a lot of us not giving our parents or elders for that matter the honor that they truly deserve. We say we love them but we are quick to flat out disrespect them when they do something that we don't like or when we ask them for something and they tell us no. Little do we know that we are actually hurting ourselves and not them with our dishonor. Lets take a look at the above scriptures again and you will see what I am talking about.

Exodus chapter 20 starts by God speaking the 10 commandments to Moses. Verse 12 lays out the 5th of the 10 commandments. I'm sure that all of us know that the bible tells us to honor our mother and father but often times we forget that this is actually one of the 10 commandments. Yep thats right!! It is right above "you shall not murder" and right below "Remember the Sabbath by keeping it holy." Remeber from Sunday achools that the 10 commandments were given in order of their importance. Therefore recognize that to God dishonoring our parents is greater than committing murder.

If we cross reference Exodus 20:12 we will be led to Ephesians 6. As I stated above the 5th commandment is the 1st commandment that comes with a promise - "that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you" or as it is stated in Ephesians 6 "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth." We learned opposites in elementary school and I think that that is the best way for us to look at this promise. If we honor our parents we will have a long life and things will be well with us while we live here on earth but if we dishonor our parents our days on earth will be shortened and filled with a lot of bad days.

A further look into the scripture will also reveal that no where does it say that we should give honor only when our parents deserve it and withhold it when they do not. All God said was to honor your father and mother period. Honor is one of those things that God believes should be freely given no matter what a person does or says to us. If you do not believe me go to I Samuel 24 with me......

After Saul returned from pursuing the Philistines, he was told, “David is in the Desert of En Gedi. ” 2 So Saul took three thousand able young men from all Israel and set out to look for David and his men near the Crags of the Wild Goats. 3 He came to the sheep pens along the way; a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. David and his men were far back in the cave. 4 The men said, “This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.” Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe.

5 Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. 6 He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord.” 7 With these words David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way. 8 Then David went out of the cave and called out to Saul, “My lord the king!” When Saul looked behind him, David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground.

Let me give you a little background before we talk about the scriptures above. Isreal wanted a king like some of the other great nations so the Lord had Samuel to annoint Saul as the king of Israel but during his reign he did some things that were not pleasing in the Lord's sight. God therefore rejected Saul as king and subsequently commanded Samuel to anoint David as king to take Saul's place. At the moment David was annointed the Spirit of the Lord was with him and departed from Saul to the point where Saul was tormented by demons. This made Saul very angry and he developed a hatred for David and he tried several times to kill him, which leads us to the scriptures above.

Although Saul had just come back from pursuing the Philistines, he still had enough energy left to pursue David because he wanted him dead. Instead the Lord delivered Saul into David's hand to do with him as he pleased. It is clear from the scripture that David could have killed Saul if he wanted to as evidence by the fact he was able to cut off a corner of Saul's robe without being noticed. Although David had the opportunity to kill the man that had been pursuing him for years to kill him, David spared his life  because he still honored Saul as king so much that he felt guilty for cutting a piece of Saul's robe and despite the way Saul had treated him, David still saw him as "my master, the Lord’s anointed,  My lord the king." David honored him to the point that even though Saul wanted his life "David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground" before Saul. Many of us would have taken this opportunity to get rid of Saul and would not have given it a second thought. But we learn from David that no matter what our parents do to us or have done to us our duty as children is to honor them with the respect that they deserve inspite of their short comings.
So what happens when we dishonor our parents??? I'm glad you asked! Lets go to Matthew 13:53-58...

53 When Jesus had finished these parables, he moved on from there. 54 Coming to his hometown, he began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. “Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?” they asked. 55 “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Isn’t his mother’s name Mary, and aren’t his brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas? 56 Aren’t all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things?” 57 And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town and in his own home.” 58 And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

You see the people who grew up with Jesus did not honor him as the Son of God. Instead they saw him as the carpenter’s son, Mary's son, and the brother of James, Joseph, Simon and Judas. Jesus response was that "a prophet is not without honor except in his own town and in his own home." And because of their dishonor Jesus did not perform many miracles there. This is the same thing that happens to us when we dishonor our parents, our days are shortened and our time spent on earth is filled with bad days. I learned in church that honor produces a culture of miraculous blessings and we see from the scripture above that dishonor produces a culture void of miraculous blessing.

Therfore, my prayer today for myself especially and for those reading this is "Lord do not let the dishonor in my heart hinder you Jesus from doing the miraculous things in my life."

Until next time.....

Fear Not!!

Merriam-Webster defines fear as "an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger." It further defines afraid as "filled with fear or apprehension." If we break the definition of fear down into the words I have highlighted for you, you will see that fear is based on an unpleasant emotion (we all know that letting our emotions control us can wreak havoc on our lives, we must learn to not act on our emotions and keep them in check). The key part of the definition comes at the end "an anticipation or awareness of DANGER." Naturally anyone is going to experience some sort of fear if they believe they are in DANGER. Therefore outside of one feeling a sense of DANGER, fear is an emotion that we should very rarely experience (after all how many days out of the week do we REALLY feel like we are in danger?) Despite this though some of us live our lives in constant fear often times without even knowing.

One of my favorite sayings is that you should never be afraid to ask someone for something because all they can do is tell you no. But how many of us know that hearing the word NO can sometimes be so detrimental to our self esteem that we often just avoid asking the question altogether to avoid being hurt or feeling that uncomfortable feeling of rejection.  We often never look at the other side of the coin and think that maybe just maybe us getting that NO is setting us up for an even bigger YES from God or that maybe hearing that NO is just what we need to refocus on the things that are actually good for us.

Recently God revealed to me, through two simple (yet complicated) conversations I had with my mom and my sister-n-law, that I had been living in fear and that I have been afraid to do some things that I really wanted to do. The crazy thing is that I had no idea that my actions were actually a result of fear (or being afraid). As a child of God I know better than to fear anything but the Lord himself, but Jesus being who He is showed me that I was doing just the opposite. Here's the story....

I believe the conversation with my sister-n-law came first. She is one of the few people that I can go to and get spiritual advice regarding relationships so she is usually the first person I call when I need a Godly perspective on a situation often involving a person of the opposite sex. So I call her up and I start explaining the situation to her. Because I am letting go of my fears I will give you all a brief exert from the conversation......

Sis- So have you tried to call?
Me- I texted a couple of times but I have not called
Sis- WHY?
Me- Because
Sis- Because what? Are you scared?
Me- No (while giggling). I just don't want to get my feelings hurt.
Sis - So you are scared?
Me- No, I just don't like rejection.
Sis- So u a scaerdy cat?
Me- NOOOOOO
God and Sis - YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One thing about God is that when he is trying to show you something He always sends you confirmation. The very next day my mom and I were having a conversation about me telling someone how I felt about them and she asked me the exact same question that my sister-n-law did the previous day. "Are you afraid?" And true to form she starting quoting scripture to me.

Mom-  The bible says I shall not fear what man can do to me. So you tell him how you feel and if he does not feel the same way OK, you get it out and then you can move on. What is there to be afraid of.
Me- Speechless.

From that day forward it was as if God was holding a fear mirror in front of me because he literally showed me throughout my normal day when I was afraid to do something through something as simple as asking someone a question or something a little more complicates like moving forward with my career plans. The crazy thing was He was talking to me just like my mom and sister-n-law would. It all hit home for me when He began to show me that it was fear that has been holding me back from trusting Him in some areas of my life. About half way through law school I realized that I did not want to live in Florida after graduation, but I did not know where I wanted to go. My heart was set on DC until they had that snow storm and I was like this Florida girl cannot deal with that. ATL came to mind (after I met someone there) but I was like I do not want to take two bars so I eventually went back to DC and had my heart set on moving there after graduation. Then came the devil with his little stumbling blocks (you have to know that when God puts something in your heart, the devil comes immediately to try and snatch the word away). The scripture tell us this in Mark 4 with the parable of the farmer scattering seed.....

 ³ “Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seed. ⁴ As he scattered it across his field, some of the seed fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate it. ⁵ Other seed fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seed sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. ⁶ But the plant soon wilted under the hot sun, and since it didn’t have deep roots, it died. ⁷ Other seed fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants so they produced no grain. ⁸ Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they sprouted, grew, and produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted!”

 ¹⁴ The farmer plants seed by taking God’s word to others. ¹⁵ The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message, only to have Satan come at once and take it away. ¹⁶ The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. ¹⁷ But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word. ¹⁸ The seed that fell among the thorns represents others who hear God’s word, ¹⁹ but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced. ²⁰ And the seed that fell on good soil represents those who hear and accept God’s word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted!”

The seed was planted when God answered my prayer to lead me and guide to where He wanted me to be which was DC. At first the seed fell on the footpath and satan began to immediately whisper in my ear that it was too cold in DC saying that I would never survive there and the word went out the window when I agreed with him. But God being the merciful and loving God that He is replanted the seed again, but the next time it wasn't immediately taken away, nope this time it fell among thorns. You see it took root and began to grow, but I started experiencing financial hardships and I knew I would need money to make the move. I had no job and therfore no income so I came to the "logical" conclusion that I could not move without a job. You see I allowed the worries of life to get in the way so the seed it didn't produce any fruit. However, because I have learned to continue to pray despite how things look on the outside and because I have a praying mother Jesus once again being the loving and merciful Savior that he is began to show me that I let satan steal the seed that He planted in me but because He is God He tells us this in Isaiah 46:9-10.......

⁹ Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me.

 ¹⁰ Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish. 

God showed me that every precaution that I was taking was actually being done out of fear. Every time I said I can't go to DC without a job or without any money I was actually doubting Him. God tells us in His word that for every vision that He has given us He has already made provision for us. Which means that if He has placed a purpose in our life whether it be to start a business, go to school (or go back to school), write a book, teach, move to an unfamiliar place, whatever it may be He has already placed the necessary people and things in place to accomplish His plan. Remember the story of Elijah and the widow in 1 Kings 17. Elijah did not hesitate once or make en excuse of why he could not go when God told him to go, he just went trusting God at His word, that God had already made provision for him.   

Then the word of the LORD came to him: ⁹ “Go at once to Zarephath in the region of Sidon and stay there. I have directed a widow there to supply you with food.” ¹⁰ So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, “Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?” ¹¹ As she was going to get it, he called, “And bring me, please, a piece of bread.”  ¹² “As surely as the LORD your God lives,” she replied, “I don’t have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little olive oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die.”
 ¹³ Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small loaf of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. ¹⁴ For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD sends rain on the land.’”

You see God knew exactly what He was doing when He told Elijah to go, He already knew that the widow would be there to provide for Elijah. It was up to Elijah to act on the word that God had spoken to him. Not only did God make provision for Elijah He also provided for the widow and her son as well. I urge you all to follow Elijah's example and trust Jesus at His word. Believe that that vision He has given you, that purpose that He has placed in your heart He has already made provision for you. He is just waiting on you to step out and trust Him on His word. He tells us that His word WILL accomplish what it is set out to do and it WILL NOT return to Him void.

 ⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. ⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. ¹⁰ As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,

so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, ¹¹ so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.  

We often think small, but God thinks big, He looks at the BIG picture. I do not know about you but I will not allow satan to steal another word that God has given me. I am constantly praying to not allow another day to go bye with me living in fear especially when it concerns purpose that God has placed in me. I am currently in the works of making my move to DC and I urge you all to step out too. I am determined to trust God no matter how things look around me. After all there is nothing Pretty about about being fearful!

Tune in next time to see what else lies Beyond The Pretty!!!.  

Worthy or Worthless? Your Choice!!

It has been FOREVER since my last post. I apologize to those that were checking for new posts. I need for you all to start holding me accountable in the new year and start calling me out when you do not see a new post for a month or so. Even though I will be starting a new job soon I made a commitment to God that I would blog regularly and I would like to honor that commitment so please do not hesitate to send me an email, tweet or FB message to keep me on my toes. With that being said here goes an all new post!!!

Have you ever received an award or accomplished a goal and thought to yourself "I do not deserve this" or felt like you were just not worthy. It seems crazy but I recently felt that way after graduating from law school and passing the Florida Bar. I did not grow up in the best of situations and my life was a bit rough at times. As I was thinking back on my early childhood I just felt so unworthy of the things I had accomplished. Thank God I know a man name Jesus who deems things as worthy that others may view as worthless. Here's my story........

I did not grow up in the best of situations. My mom struggled to raise four children on her own. There were times we were on welfare, food stamps and other forms of public assistance. As Christmas is approaching I can remember times when there were very few (if any) presents under the tree. Because five people had to survive off of one income we often lived in crime infested neighborhoods. When I was about 7 or 8 years old I was outside playing with friends one day when I saw a man walk up in a long trench coat, pull out a gun and open fire on one of the apartments in my building while us kids were right there. Around that same time one of my childhood friends died from being shot in the head by a stray bullet on New Years Eve. I did not grow up in the best of situations.

As if that was not enough, I had to endure all of these struggles with no father in the picture. Although I knew my father he made a decision when I was about 6 or 7 to not be a part of my life and for a very long time I struggled with him not being there. I often wondered how a person that helped to create you could make a conscious decision to just walk away from you like you were nothing to never be heard from again. No phone calls or cards ever came on Christmas, Birthdays or other special events just complete silence. Like so many others I was a little girl left wondering why her father did not love her enough to want to be apart of her life. I did not grow up in the best of situations.

The one positive thing I had going for me during these tough times was a love for school and education. The difficulties I experienced at home rarely interfered with my school life. In elementary school I competed in math bowls and oratorical contests and was accepted in to the gifted program. My mom still has all the awards I received for math, English, handwriting etc. For middle school I was accepted into a Aerospace and Aviation Magnet program which lead to my acceptance into a Medical Magnet program for high school. When I entered high school although I had some distant relatives that went to college no one in my immediate family  had ever gone and graduated. However, my 2nd oldest brother had his sights set on going to college and much like I did most of my life I was eager to follow in his footsteps.
I did not grow up in the best of situations

Despite the way that I grew I have been able to achieve things in life that few people have. I earned a Bachelor of Science Degree from Florida State University in 2006, despite the fact that a study done in 2007 revealed that African Americans made up only 13.1% of the population on college campuses nationwide and only 43% of that 13.1% actually received a college degree. Earlier this year I accomplished an even bigger milestone when I graduated from UF Levin College of Law and became a member of the Florida Bar and officially entered the Legal Profession where African Americans make up less than 4% of all lawyers.

I say these things not to gloat or brag, but to testify and show those that grew up (or that are growing up) in similar situations that I did that where you come from does not have to dictate your future. More often than not the trials and tribulations that we experience in life are not to break us down but to build us up. Jesus tells us this in Romans 5:2-5 "Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment.

I have been blessed in life not because I was born into a wealthy family (although I was spiritually) , but because my mom knew that she had to change her life in order to give her children a brighter future. You see when I was in the 4th grade she chose to giver her life to Christ. You see it is because of the decision that she made that helped to shape not only her future but mine as well. The day she met Jesus I met Him as well. Some people think that our futures are predestined and that is true to a certain extent, but God also gives us choices and it is up to choose the right ones. If you do not believe me pick up the Bible and read it. He told Noah to build an ark and Noah made the choice to adhere to the voice of God even though he had never seen rain before. Abraham choose to go to a foreign land that he knew nothing about. Jesus although he was sent into the world with the purpose of dying on the cross consciously chose to carry out his purpose although He really did not want to (remember His prayer at Gethsemane). These people are GREAT examples that although we may be dealt a bad hand, God still gives us a way to achieve greatness. The choice becomes ours when God speaks to us and we have to decide if we are going to heed to the voice of God or do our own thing. My advice would be to always follow God because the road will be less bumpy and the future a whole lot brighter. It is not always an easy thing to do and often time we slip and make bad decisions that may have long term affects, but thanks be to God that He gives us a thing called grace and mercy that even when we mess up we get another chance to get it right.

Tune in next time to see what lies Beyond The Pretty!

Why Her???

A couple of month's ago I had a very real conversation with someone that inspired this entry. The basis of our discussion centered around the title to this entry "Why Her." Anyone who knows me knows that my all time favorite singer is Monica who happens to have a song titled "Why Her" Its crazy that a couple of days after I had the conversation I mentioned above, I was listening to my Monica Pandora station and rediscovered this song and I just knew that I had to blog about the title "WHY HER?" here's a little snippet of the chorus for those that are not familiar with the song:

Why her, why her? Did I get on your nerves? Did I give you too much that you couldn't handle my love? Why her, why her? Tell me what she was worth To make you put her first and disown me? You wanna come back, but I gotta know why her? Thought she was all that, then why you at my door? Now look at you, look at us, what's all this for? Hope you got the answer to my question, why her?

As you have probably guessed from reading the lyrics my friend (who I will hypothetically call Keisha) and I were discussing relationships but more specifically when a guy cheats or moves on to another relationship what makes her better than the previous girl? I was really trying to encourage Keisha because she had been in a relationship with this guy for forever and he decided that he did not want to be with her anymore and he moved on to someone else. The crazy part was that everything he was not doing in the relationship with Keisha he was doing with the girl and Keisha just wanted to know why. I began to share with Keisha my own story of dealing with the "Why Her" syndrome and some of the things that Jesus revealed to me when I was going through the same situation. As I'm sitting here typing this part of me just wants to stop and talk about something else because this is very personal story that I'm about to share and I'm imagining the things that people will have to say after reading this. However, as I said in my first entry I decided to share personal stories with you all in hopes that my readers will be strengthened in knowing that someone else has been through the same thing they might be going through now and if Jesus can bring me out he can do the same for you. So here goes.... 

Like Keisha (and a lot of other women I know) I was in a relationship with a guy that I loved (as much as I knew about love then) and thought I was going to be with forever. We discussed marriage and children and spending the rest of our lives together but very unexpectedly the day came where he said it was over he was not in love anymore (well I still loved him but I guess he did not love me anymore). Needless to say I was beyond hurt and I just did not understand what was going on. I mean I had given everything to this person, I would have done anything for him, I had tried to show him in every way that I knew how that I loved him but in the end it was just not enough. I felt just like the Monica song "Did I get on your nerves? Did I give you too much that you couldn't handle my love?" I just wanted to know why?

I did not realize it then but this did a number on my self esteem. In looking back it literally destroyed my self esteem because I began to question everything about myself which caused me to be stuck in a constant state of wondering what it was I had done wrong and what I could do to make things right again. Not one time did I consider the fact that maybe we were not meant to be or that it was his fault. I just constantly tried to figure out what I had done wrong. They "Why Her" syndrome kicked in when I discovered that he was dating someone else. I found myself comparing every aspect of my life to hers. In my head I was thinking what does he see in her? I'm prettier than her, smarter than her, more mature than her, dress better than her, just over all BETTER than her. It never crossed my mind that this had anything to do with my self esteem. Honestly, I never thought that pretty girls could have self esteem issues but God showed me that if the way you think you look on the outside is not matching up with the way you are feeling on the inside than you most certainly can have self esteem issues no matter who you are and how you look on the outside.

Unfortunately for me those self esteem issues carried over into my next relationship and after a while I completely lost myself and who I was. I looked in the mirror everyday and wondered who this girl was that I had become and how did she get there. Although, I was a bit shy growing up I always knew who I was and I did not know that anymore. I had lost that confidence that I once had. I remember not wanting to go to church or pray because I was just ashamed of the person I had become. Here I was a beautiful girl in law school accomplishing something that very few people dream of but stuck in love with a man that no longer wanted to be with me. Despite all of this one advantage I had in this situation was a praying mother. I remember my mom calling me one day and she just began to encourage me  and I knew that it was Jesus telling her to tell me just what I need to hear. Despite my insecurities God began to show me how He sees me instead of how I saw myself. My mom always spoke Proverbs 31 over my life and Jesus began to reveal that woman to me. Jesus told me to stop comparing myself to "her" and wondering because He intentionally made us two very different people and there was no need for any sort of comparison. He took me to scripture and showed me the different women in the bible who he had blessed and He said to me that He thinks of me the same way He thought of them and if He blessed them he would bless me also. Jesus gave Leah a husband when she thought no one would ever want to marry her, He gave Sarah a baby when she thought she was too old to have children, He gave Ruth love again after she never thought she would find it after her husband died, He made Esther queen in a time when her people were suppose to be destroyed.

So ladies it is time out for wondering "Why Her" and time to start thanking Jesus that it is her and not you. Quit worrying about them living a happily ever after and start thanking Jesus for the happily ever after He has in store for you. We must truly and without a doubt believe that if we are God's children than He wants the very best for us and when He closes one door He will surely open another. The one thing that I have learned is to no longer dwell on why a relationship did not work or why a guy was a complete douche bag from the beginning because the answer is simple he was just not God's will for my life and I encourage you all to do the same. You will be surprise how much less heartbreak and heartache you can be saved from and how quickly you are able to recover if you simply seek God's will for your life and not your own. Look in the mirror everyday and see yourself as God see you because His opinion is the only one that truly matters. Remember the first person that Jesus revealed himself to after His resurrection was Mary Magdalene a woman from whom he had cast out seven demons and Rahab (the harlot) is listed in Hebrews 11 in the wall a faith. So the next time you want to question "Why Her?" shout "THANK YOU JESUS FOR RESCUING ME!!!"

Tune it next time to see what lies Beyond The Pretty!!